another

"The Latest In Eco-Friendly Travel"

I seem to be stuck on collages this week.....

As you can see, I've refrained from doing anything even remotely responsible this week.....


"Lady Melanoma Considered Plastic Surgery to Rid Herself of That Unsightly Spot"


"We'll Take the Burger"

um, okay-- two more collages

(click to enlarge)


"Can Eggs Be Housebroken?"


and yes, I'm making these the old-fashioned way: scissors, paper and glue



"Sidesaddle"

And yet another...

"Spandex Joy"

This one is my favorite so far...

(click to enlarge)

also...

I'm throwing together another collage that will have several of these figures in it (it will be too large to scan, I think)

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I've been, quite sadly, a bit behind on the blogging lately.

But I did manage to pop on over to the Beehives salon for some really intense, coffee house-style intellectual conversation this weekend-- yay!

Not only did we discuss whether one should be pro or anti Mariah Carey (we've decided that I'm Mariah-agnostic), but we also considered the following questions posed by a random scrap of paper:

If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If you try to fail, and succeed, what have you done?
Why don't psychics ever win the lottery?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

etc.

Also mucked around with a few collage-doodles.

Here's one (might use the bunny and girl for a painting)

Lazing about ....

Took the day off.... bwah ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope everyone had fun at work without me today!

Went shopping for books and picked up a very cool hardbound facsimile of the Visconti Hours, a book of hours commissioned in the early 1400s by Giangaleazzo Visconti, the ruler of Milan.


I scanned a few of my favorites out of about 166 high quality plates (unfortunately my scanner needs to be replaced -- the scan quality isn't very high, and the metallic gold doesn't show).

1. The Creation of Birds
2. Sacrifice of Cain and Abel
3. Spies Before Jericho
4. The Nativity

International Talk Like a Pirate Day is almost over!

AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Avast ye hearties!

Shiver me timbers, but methinks it be time for Crafty Eyed L to give out the scurvy pirate awards after swabbin' the decks all day!

Scurvy Pirate Winner!
Haliburton! HAAAAARRRRR!!! 'Twill be a fine day when these plunderin' dogs are keelhauled on the poopdeck and marooned.

First Runners Up!
Mike Battles and Scott Custer! Yo ho ho! Methinks they get high marks for pillaging and plundering!

Honorable Mention!
Dubya! A lily-livered cabin boy, but still a scurvy dog. AAAAAARRRRR!


Bonus talk like a pirate link
The official Talk like a pirate website!
Pirate images
Pirate glossary
Pirates in the news
A brief history of piracy in the caribbean
Dress like a pirate
the pirate name generator

That is all-- the cap'n needs some grog

Glamorous Girl-About-Town Reporting...

The weekend was especially charming, considering that the team won second place at the ultimate Florida sectionals tournament.

It was terribly fabulous.

It was also quite mystifying, as we'd really just meant to fart around and drink beer while finishing dead last before going to the beach and drinking even more beer. I think we can safely say that my top-secret plan of playing in a horribly inept manner to distract the opposition worked admirably; my inability to catch or throw in any sort of meaningful way absolutely stupified the other teams' star players! Yay!

Overall, it was a successful tournament, as they only had to call the paramedics once, and no one broke anything, and my scabby legs are almost healed.

***************************
However, this past week was not all wine and roses. Acquaintances have regretfully informed me that I apparently missed seeing:
1. a rather exciting fistfight
2. a small car flying through the air and landing in the middle of a fountain near work
3. a freckly streaker

***************************

On the other hand, I did get to see The Protector (Tom Yum Goong), which is an amazingly beautiful movie starring Tony Jaa (star of Ong-Bak). I highly recommend it, both for its hilarious cheese factor and the kick-ass fight scenes. High points:
1. Tony Jaa in an extreme boat chase scene
2. Tony Jaa making tons of bone-crunching sound effects
3. a warehouse fight between Tony Jaa and a large number of gangsters on rollerblades, BMX bikes and tricked-out four wheelers
4. Tony Jaa fighting in the middle of a burning building
5. a whip-wielding dominatrix gangster leaping on a helicopter to escape Tony Jaa
6. a man eating a live scorpion
7. Tony Jaa fighting enormous henchmen
8. a cute baby elephant
9. explosions
10. Tony Jaa making even more bone-crunching sound effects

Low point:
1. no ninja scenes

Thought for the day:

Sometimes, I just don't understand men.

ugh

I have been not-blogging even more irresponsibly than usual because I've been working and playing oodles of frisbee to prepare for a two-day ultimate frisbee tournament this weekend.

And I'm tired.

We will be back to the usual crap on Sunday evening.

Stooooormy Weather.... la la la la!

It's storming like crazy here.... posting will resume later, as I'm shutting off the p.c.

Another very special post on odd art!

As it's been a little while, I thought I'd inflict another scholarly art critique on whomever is irresponsible enough to be reading useless blogs at this late hour. Don't you have a job or something?

Outdoor sculpture -- Title unknown, artist unknown

Some critics maintain that it is difficult to enter the metaphorical narrative of this sculpture due to its esoteric symbolism and incohesive content; others contend that this difficulty is mainly due to the dilemma of having to dodge the perplexing amount of flying babies that seem to be emanating from this piece. And, while the figures exhibit a clean purity of line and an eloquently simple resonance of form, one must ask: what the @#%!!???

Of course, it's quite obvious to all but the most uneducated that this artist has issued a vibrant proclamation, a stirring call to arms, and a searing indictment of something. If you have to ask what this means, however, we certainly can't be bothered to explain.



* additional odd art posts may be found in the drop down box under my avatar
** image pulled from boners.com

Welcome back to search engine theater: how do people get here?

Blogger ate my post last night. Ugh.

For now, here's just a few of the search terms people use to get here....

gigolos barbados
phallic symbol garden gnomes
what is mathematical probability of any one sperm being the lucky one?
which us president had his head rubbed with vaseline
princess cakes for little girls that are prissy
creature feature with dr. paul bearer movie list
handcarved coffins
amish stripper
Franklin Pierce ran over down elderly old woman horse carriage
itsy bitsy tiny weeny yellow poker dot bikini
"strange culture"
amish speak
Farts of Liberty(No amputated shit)
when i grow up i want to become princess(my feelings)
how tall is a midget
where are rats found
"i'm not going to take it anymore day"
invasion of pod people
apartment catfight
"what is the purpose of an art gallery?"
how do I find my funny stripper name?
World's smallest horse at fairs
hindu goddess scared drinks
tampa bay buccaneer thong
ugly art
tragically hip birthdays
"breath smells like feces"
where to buy lizard glue trap
bowling balls that look like eyeballs

blogging difficulties...

There has been a shocking lack of accordion posts lately

I have just realized that there have been only three accordion-related posts during the past three months-- which is absolutely shocking!

Luckily, with this timely addition, we have increased our accordion posting from .096 to .125% in a matter of minutes, thus making us more competitive with other blogs in this genre.

In addition to greatly increasing our accordion posts, we lolled about doing nothing in particular this weekend. However, we also hung out with friends who accidentally got themselves into a bar brawl, played badminton and watched a small pack of pugs start a dog fight at a sausage-karaoke birthday party, ate cookies, attended a delicious omelette cook-off with mimosas and generally made a nuisance of ourselves. Later, we went on a beach pub crawl and accidentally mislaid a friend, who did not throw himself despondently in the ocean as was originally thought, but instead walked six miles along the interstate before being picked up by the police.


I've just noticed that none of this has anything to do with accordions, but I did stumble across an absolutely fabulous online record collection. I picked a few representative samples below:

No online record collection would be complete without the Ethel Merman Disco Album! She sings, she boogies, she puts her weight on it! From what I can tell, the best disco selection on this album is probably "Alexander's Ragtime Band". Can you dig it?


Here we have the incredibly moving "Music From Mathematics", which is performed by an I.B.M. 7090 and digital to sound transducer engaging in a "durational series", in which " augmentations, inversions, and retrogrades" are liberally used.... also, "psycho-acoustical phenomenon"


This one speaks for itself.


After you listed to the amazing orchestrations of "Balling in the Family", "You'll never be the same"!

And that's all we're going to say about that


Um, there will be a real post tomorrow-- we swear!

Where the @!#%!!#!!??? are my car keys???

Weird recipes
So you've decided to be evil
Cats that look like Hitler
skating monkey
thrift store art
Have your picture taken through your monitor
kinetic sculpture
Fart facts
Bigfoot
the A-Team game
OSHA fatal accident reports
Big nose appreciation
Also, a site that is even more random than this one
paranormal restraining orders
odd books
The wedgie game