languishing...

Just returned from a two day frisbee tournament.

It should be noted that I played gamely despite the fact that people were snoring in my hotel room.

that is all.

Lazing About....

Current Status: Lolling about indolently
Outlook: further lazing around, general droopiness and sloth

I'm supposed to be shopping for ingredients, as I'm hosting a teensy little dinner to-night. However, I sense a mad dashing about and last-minute panic in my future. Exhaustion has set in after yesterday's ultimate frisbee tournament -- the Presidential Plastic Platter Hatter. My team was named "The White Lies", which, rather unfortunately, sounds just like "The White Lice!! Go White Lice!!!" when cheered from the sidelines.

The road trip consisted of my driving my tiny pink station wagon crammed full of sweating, farting men who entertained me on the way back by whistling such favorites as "This Land is Your Land" and "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". Truly a magical experience. heh heh


The question for today is: what shall I serve for dinner tonight?


Perhaps a nice "Luncheon Meat Pate"? It's just oozing with cream cheese, green olives and yummy lunch meat goodness! The festive garnishes of leftover christmas tree branches and red licorice are an especially nice touch I think.












Of course, I can always opt for the "Tomato-Tuna Mold garnished with deviled eggs" and served with what appear to be milkshakes, pumpernickel bread and bowls of dish soap. Mmmmm mmmm!







But really, I think I will choose the thrifty yet economical "Spam 'N' Limas", which is both 'ah inspiring' and chock full of mysterious, slithery, spammy delight. It's certain to be a hit at any dinner party, regardless of the season!

Road Trip!

Very shortly I shall be off on a road trip to Savannah with an odd assortment of people who obsessively drink beer and play with frisbees. I have packed an assortment of snacks, fuzzy blankets, cookies and fruitish things, in addition to a small number of books in case of emergency:

1. The Book of Five Rings, which was written more than 350 years ago by Miyamoto Musashi, focuses on the technical and spiritual elements of confrontational skills, which may or may not come in handy on an Ultimate Frisbee field. Useful chapters include: "On the Teaching of Having a Position Without a Position", "The Body of the Short Armed Monkey", "Stabbing the Face", "Advantage in Dueling", "Infection", "Crushing", and "Beating the Grass to Scare the Snakes", among other helpful hints.

2. The Age of the Gladiators, which was written by Rupert Matthews, details the development of the "savagery and spectacle" in the ancient blood-soaked arenas of Rome. Surprisingly, these games originated as spectacles that were part of funeral celebrations. In addition to sword fights, they also flooded arenas to stage mock naval battles, held wild animal fights that included everything from elephants to crocodiles, and organized chariot races. However, the ancient Romans were not sophisticated enough to think of flinging discs at each others' faces.

3. Battle Royale by Koushun Takami tells the story of a future society where the fascist government pits high school classmates against each other in a literal fight to the death with an assortment of weapons and other tools. There are machine guns, hand grenades, knives, poison, bows and arrows-- but again no frisbees.


Regardless, these are all great reading for anyone participating in a sporting event!

Recent Activities...

I'm afraid that it's now officially official: I am house-hunting in a terribly earnest and somewhat matronly manner. Of course, house-hunting is a bit easier than it sounds, as it doesn't require a special license or gun-- and houses just sit around doing nothing in particular rather than fleeing in an alarming manner. Although the search is exhausting, it hasn't been too horribly dangerous, with the exception of a particularly vicious assault from feral laminate flooring.

There are so many charmingly overpriced fixer-uppers that it's quite difficult to choose just where I should finally settle down with my very own weed-infested lawn and feuding neighbors. But it's all so wonderfully exciting, what with all the paperwork, the documentation, additional paperwork, paper documents, documentary paperwork, extra documentation, and various papery things.

This might sound somewhat stressful, but I take solace in the fact that having my very own house means I can also quite easily have my very own pets... Like termites! Or roaches!

Anyway, it's quite a wonderful process that everyone should experience.

Other recent randomness:
1. This weekend I participated in another Ultimate Frisbee tournament, in which my team came in next to last. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that I accidentally named our team "Frederick". Others had suggested "The Pukes" or "Baby Poo", but "Frederick" was deemed to be much more dignified. Teams we played against included the "Tighty Whities" and "The Macaroons", among others.

2. I attended a lovely baby shower, for which I made an ungodly amount of whipped cream.... said whipped cream stared at me reproachfully all afternoon after not being eaten.

3. Various new art pieces somehow managed to find their way to my apartment; I'm not quite sure how this sort of thing happens, as it's quite irresponsible as well as mysterious.

4. Carrie Mackin, Kym O'Donnell and Joe Griffith won art picks for Creative Loafing's Best of the Bay.

5. Quite sadly, there was also an award for the "Saddest Arts Trend: Tampa Bay's Cultural Brain Drain", which is not surprising...



To-day I'm listening to this and to this because they make me giggle.

The Glamorous Life of L

Very few would believe the fantastically fabulous and terribly glamorous life I am leading to-day



Yes, I am soaking my foot in epsom salts, an activity which is all the rage with the fashionable set, at least with those members of the fashionable set who have smashed their feet whilst playing frisbee, thus reducing their formerly winsome big toe into an unrecognizably bloody appendage that has swollen to an alarming size.

Also, I have just finished eating nine dum dum lollipops (cherry flavored) and looking at cute things.

Can a cover of Vogue be next???

Glamorous Girl-About-Town Reporting...

The weekend was especially charming, considering that the team won second place at the ultimate Florida sectionals tournament.

It was terribly fabulous.

It was also quite mystifying, as we'd really just meant to fart around and drink beer while finishing dead last before going to the beach and drinking even more beer. I think we can safely say that my top-secret plan of playing in a horribly inept manner to distract the opposition worked admirably; my inability to catch or throw in any sort of meaningful way absolutely stupified the other teams' star players! Yay!

Overall, it was a successful tournament, as they only had to call the paramedics once, and no one broke anything, and my scabby legs are almost healed.

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However, this past week was not all wine and roses. Acquaintances have regretfully informed me that I apparently missed seeing:
1. a rather exciting fistfight
2. a small car flying through the air and landing in the middle of a fountain near work
3. a freckly streaker

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On the other hand, I did get to see The Protector (Tom Yum Goong), which is an amazingly beautiful movie starring Tony Jaa (star of Ong-Bak). I highly recommend it, both for its hilarious cheese factor and the kick-ass fight scenes. High points:
1. Tony Jaa in an extreme boat chase scene
2. Tony Jaa making tons of bone-crunching sound effects
3. a warehouse fight between Tony Jaa and a large number of gangsters on rollerblades, BMX bikes and tricked-out four wheelers
4. Tony Jaa fighting in the middle of a burning building
5. a whip-wielding dominatrix gangster leaping on a helicopter to escape Tony Jaa
6. a man eating a live scorpion
7. Tony Jaa fighting enormous henchmen
8. a cute baby elephant
9. explosions
10. Tony Jaa making even more bone-crunching sound effects

Low point:
1. no ninja scenes

ugh

I have been not-blogging even more irresponsibly than usual because I've been working and playing oodles of frisbee to prepare for a two-day ultimate frisbee tournament this weekend.

And I'm tired.

We will be back to the usual crap on Sunday evening.