Monday, December 20, 2004

Attack of the Giant Leeches!

A very cool artist I know just traded some art for a holiday in Paris; while I sit here expelling phlegm he and his wife get to eat baguettes, buy overpriced designer fashions and listen to street musicians play "La Vie En Rose" every half hour. It just isn't fair!

They've asked Frank (another artist I know) to house-sit, which involves drinking weird wine and taking care of two manic dogs. One is a corgi that slobbers on everything; the other one is just an asshole; he literally steals food from your mouth, pees when excited, and leaps over tall couches in a single bound. I know that his owners love him, but clearly they are mad.

Frank is odd and very nice; so when he invited me and Kathie/Brandt over to watch B movies, I ran over with a big bag of food and Riki-O: The Story of Riki! He had Attack of the Giant Leeches and The Screaming Skull, both wonderful classics in the B horror genre. I believe both were shown on Dr. Paul Bearer's Creature Feature, which was the highlight of every Saturday when I was a kid in the early 80s.

I really miss Creature Feature. Dr. Paul Bearer dressed as a fashionably scarred zombie who spouted terrible puns ("I'll be lurking for you!") and sang old Tom Lehrer songs like "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park". He was SO much better than Elvira and played all these great old movies like 13 Ghosts, The Mummy, and The Gamma People. When I was in kindergarten, he visited our Halloween festival and gave me an autographed photo; my mother said I kept it for ages...

Attack of the Giant Leeches was hilarious and became even more interesting when I discovered that it was actually filmed in Florida! It starred a bunch of terrible actors with fake Southern accents, a leading man who liked to take off his shirt, and two people in giant rubber leech costumes. The leeches ran around the swamp and gave people giant hickeys, so it was very amusing.

The Screaming Skull was vaguely Edgar Allen Poe-ish and had wonderfully bad special effects. The screaming skull was plastic but very active; it constantly ran around scaring people and screaming incomprehensibly. I loved the scene where the actor playing the villain held the skull up to his neck and tried to make it look as if it was attacking him.


Blogger Linds said...

It's always good when Lead actors like to take their shirts off a lot. I recommend watching "The Punisher." and "I, Robot." strictly for those reasons. Well, admittedly, "I, Robot." was a wicked cool movie.

Hugh Jackman, is a lovely, lovely naked thing.

As for horrible/wonderful B rated movies, I'm partial to "Amazon Women from The Moon."

4:30 PM  
Blogger L said...

ooh, I haven't seen Amazon Women From the Moon yet -- sounds cool.

of course, I have to return the favor and recommend Destroy All Monsters as a wonderful B classic

12:09 AM  
Anonymous edeopath said...

Presently, I am on a huge Paul Bearer resurgence. I used to watch him EVERY Saturday on WTOG out of Tampa/St. Pete. I lived in Orlando at the time.

I'm trying to track down P. Bearer memorabilia and stuff, but there isn't much out there. I sure wish someone in the Bennick clan/broadcasting pyramid would release the P. Bearer stuff on DVD like "they" did for Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

Anyways, nice blog. It's lots of fun to read!

4:51 PM  

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