Car Crashes

My short freckly neighbor just wrecked her car after running to the store for a dented package of Ding-Dongs and a sixpack of beer. Now there's just a scatter of glass and the smell of burnt rubber to remind us of her '88 Buick, which may have lacked hubcaps but not the ability to stall at intersections.

I told her it could have been worse...

My college friend Spiff once drank too much beer and drove HIS car into the guardrail at the Sigma Nu fraternity house. He and his roommates groggily stumbled home to phone the police; as they walked through the door, the police called THEM and threatened to charge them with leaving the scene. While Spiff was on the phone, the other guys looked around the room and realized that they had been robbed for the THIRD time (everything was gone, even the inflatable kiddie pool). After the police arrived and heard the story of the accident and robbery, the first thing they said was "You do realize that insurance fraud is a crime?"

Not only that, but my friends discovered what pawn shop the thieves had used -- and had to PAY to retrieve what items remained.