Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Don't Forget National Read A Book Day!

I certainly hope that no-one has forgotten to celebrate National Read a Book Day today.

I briefly considered staging a parade, but then realized that I would look a bit silly wandering up and down the street wearing bells and feathers and things. And if I can't afford my very own petting zoo, then how could I ever afford a calypso-cajun marching band with spangled tights and streamers?

So I'm forced to celebrate in a sedate and ladylike manner by reading a bit of Hunter S. Thompson's Gonzo papers.

I thought I'd share a charming excerpt:

00000"'Why, in England it's quite normal. People don't take offense. They understand that I'm just putting them on a bit.'
00000'Fuck England,' I said. 'This is Middle America. These people regard what you're doing to them as a brutal, bilious insult. Look what happened last night. I thought my brother was going to tear your head off.'
00000Steadman shook his head sadly. 'But I liked him. He struck me as a very decent, straightforward sort.'
00000'Look Ralph,' I said. 'Let's not kid ourselves. That was a very horrible drawing you gave him. It was the face of a monster. It got on his nerves very badly.' I shrugged. 'Why in hell do you think we left the restaurant so fast?'
00000'I thought it was because of the Mace,' he said.
00000'What Mace?'
00000He grinned. ' When you shot it at the headwaiter, don't you remember?'
00000'Hell, that was nothing,' I said. 'I missed him... and we were leaving, anyway.'
00000'But it got all over us,' he said. 'The room was full of that damn gas. Your brother was sneezing and his wife was crying. My eyes hurt for two hours. I couldn't see to draw when we got back to the motel.'
00000'That's right,' I said. 'The stuff got on her leg, didn't it?'
00000'She was angry,' he said.
00000'Yeah... well, okay... Let's just figure we fucked up about equally on that one,' I said. 'But from now on let's try to be careful when we're around people I know. You won't sketch them and I won't Mace them. We'll just try to relax and get drunk.'
00000'Right,' he said. 'We'll go native.'"


Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Does reading your post count as a book? And who really can read a book in a day? Not normal humans that's for sure. Only people with super powers.
I would go for a National Read a Book Decade or something sensible like that..

9:28 PM  
Blogger L said...

Even I don't read a book in a day, unless it's Dr. Seuss

11:54 PM  
Blogger Morgan said...

I think it's incredible that H.S.T. could write like an addict so well, while he was an addict. It's impressive that he had the motivation, some might just be happy squirting mace at passersby.

7:35 AM  
Blogger L said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:44 PM  
Blogger L said...

lisa: I agree. I'm not an addict, but sometimes even I find it easier to squirt Mace at people rather than write a novel :)

10:44 PM  
Anonymous jpr said...

I've often thought it might be fun to go door to door trying to start a parade. If you start w/ 10 friends, alcoholic beverages, a megaphone, and a convertible it just seems inevitable. If you dont have a convertible, a llama should work just as well.

10:58 PM  
Anonymous rhodent said...

Did Jason write that exerpt or was it just a snippet of one of his conversations?

Happy Read a Book Day to you, too!

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Chickie said...

Oh crap. I missed the day. I will be sure to post my favorite excerpt tomorrow. I will march around the house, chanting it naked to make up for my laxness today.

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

These are the moments I wish I read romance novels, so I could quote something really funny from them. I bet one could make a whole site just with that concept.

10:58 PM  
Anonymous weary hag said...

I refuse to recognize Read a Book Day based on the fact that, in spite of my urgent coaxing, there is still no Write a Book Day. *grin*

You could probably kill two birds with one stone if you walk down your road with an open can of tuna and a few slices of ham. Every dog and cat miles around would follow you thus creating a parade of sorts, then you could pen them up and call it a petting zoo. Oh. But you'd better have a boom box for that parade. Parades really need music.

10:58 PM  
Blogger L said...

jpr: it sounds like something you've already tried

rhodent: whatcha reading?

Chickie: ha ha! another good idea

Mariana: one could. I should rewrite the whole blog, in fact, as if I were living in a romance novel. now that would be something

Weary Hag: you are quite creative :) and yes, parades always need music. It's really too bad that cats and dogs can't play kazoos

10:59 PM  
Anonymous comfort addict said...

Need a trombone in the Calypso-Cajun marching band (as long as I can wear shorts and tennies)?

Go Gonzo!

10:59 PM  
Blogger L said...

Comfort addict: heh heh! I wish I could play a musical instrument

10:59 PM  
Anonymous mark said...

kazoos are highly overrated. give me a dog who can work the trombone, then you've got something sister!

hope the book was good. nice excerpt.

10:59 PM  

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