"Men Are Smarter" Says Study Written By Men For Men

As seen before, this blog is occasionally dedicated to bringing news of up-to-the-minute scientific discoveries to our audience. Today is no exception, and we are proud to inform you of the very latest in scientific breakthroughs: a study that finally proves men are smarter than women.

The study has been lauded by many men, who now have scientific proof of women's inability to understand the finer subtleties of fart jokes and carburetors, beer chugging and shooting at stop signs. And it finally explains why women are always the ones who need to ask for directions.

It has long been a myth that a person's environment and upbringing has something to do with I.Q., but, in fact, cultural factors such as the gender-specific socializing of girls has absolutely nothing to do with it, according to some male researchers such as Dr. Gunther Arschloch. "The idea that women are strongly socialized to believe intelligence is unfeminine, that they are subtly discouraged from advanced educational opportunities -- these are all old wive's tales, if you'll pardon the expression", he said. "Men are just smarter, because we say so."

Dr. Robert Genitalien, another male researcher, agreed. "Men have always known that the larger the breast size, the lower the I.Q., but now we have shown that just having breasts will doom a person to a lifetime of confusion and ineptitude. Based on these results, we are postulating that the act of menstruating may actually cause a person to lose millions of brain cells, but it could also have something to do with having the cooties."

"The idea that different types of intelligence may exist, the idea that men can sometimes be biased -- these are just hysterical rantings", he stated. "The fact is that we're a billion times smarter than women... or even a trillion times smarter.... in fact, we're smarter to infinity!!"

"After all", added Dr. Arschloh, "two heads are always better than one."