Monday, August 15, 2005

"Because Everything in Her Home Is Waterproof, the Housewife of 2000 Can Do Her Daily Cleaning With a Hose"

These modern scientists really need to get on the ball. I can't clean anything with a hose in my apartment, and they promised that sort of thing back in 1956!

I mean really! Must we waste all the good technology on cures for cancer?


The dinner party was fabulous, blah blah blah.

The food was fabulous, blah blah blah.

However, I am currently unable to discover peace and self-fulfillment while cleaning. Perhaps I need a lobotomy.


***********************************
Other Benefits of a Lobotomy:

1. Job Satisfaction

2. A constantly perky smile

3. An ability to watch Dubya make a televised speech without wanting to squish his tiny head

4. The ability to discuss lawns and sports scores ad nauseum

5. A permanently cheerful outlook

6. A fulfilling career as a Playboy Bunny

7. An uncanny talent for doublespeak

8. Producing Reality television

9. Always being able to color inside the lines

10. Mariah Carey


Excuse me please; I need to go vacuum the floor, and I am cranky.

14 Comments:

Blogger Larry Jones said...

You're a delightful cranky housekeeper. But I'm not sure sure how Mariah is a benefit of having a lobotomy...

11:07 AM  
Blogger Rainypete said...

You forgot to mention a lobotomy gives you the inevitable urge to enter poltiics.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Jim Bliss said...

"You forgot to mention a lobotomy gives you the inevitable urge to enter poltiics."

More than that - it gives you the ability to succeed at it!

1:55 PM  
Blogger dreamgurl said...

Another benefit of a lobotomy: Being able to WATCH reality tv shows.

I dig your blog. Cool pics. =)

9:52 PM  
Blogger L said...

Larry: thank you, sir.
1. if one were to have a lobotomy, one could possibly be like Mariah Carey
2. if one were to have a lobotomy, one could possibly listen to the music of Mariah Carey and like it

rainypete: yes, thank for the correction :)

Jim Bliss: you are correct as always

dreamgurl: thanks!

10:24 PM  
Anonymous jpr said...

How much does a lobotomy run these days? I am thinking about getting gift certificates.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous moos said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous moos said...

I wish that I could clean with a hose. I suppose that I could, along with a scoop shovel, an air hose and a front end loader. . . and I'd still rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. Sorry - I had to say that.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous comfort addict said...

To paraphrase George C. Scott in Dr. Strangelove, jeez I wish I had one of those lobotomy things.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous panthergirl said...

LOVE the cartoon.... hilarious! Wonder if she can hose down her kids, too!

8:31 PM  
Blogger L said...

jpr: maybe we could get a group rate!

moos: heh heh. I bet you have a lot more cleaning to do than I do, what with all those cows and horses and things!

Comort Addict: they could definitely come in handy

panthergirl: that would make things a lot easier...

8:31 PM  
Anonymous mr. anigans said...

there is not a thing on that list i can do. but then i'm not very ambitious.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous glomgold said...

I could do Mariah Carey, I think. As long as she doesn't talk. It might depend on which ethnic side of her she's pretending to be that day.

8:31 PM  
Blogger L said...

mr anigans: ambition is overrated I think

glomgold: heh heh.... I think she would be way too annoying for anyone though

8:31 PM  

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