"Because Everything in Her Home Is Waterproof, the Housewife of 2000 Can Do Her Daily Cleaning With a Hose"
These modern scientists really need to get on the ball. I can't clean anything with a hose in my apartment, and they promised that sort of thing back in 1956!
I mean really! Must we waste all the good technology on cures for cancer?
The dinner party was fabulous, blah blah blah.
The food was fabulous, blah blah blah.
However, I am currently unable to discover peace and self-fulfillment while cleaning. Perhaps I need a lobotomy.
***********************************
Other Benefits of a Lobotomy:
1. Job Satisfaction
2. A constantly perky smile
3. An ability to watch Dubya make a televised speech without wanting to squish his tiny head
4. The ability to discuss lawns and sports scores ad nauseum
5. A permanently cheerful outlook
6. A fulfilling career as a Playboy Bunny
7. An uncanny talent for doublespeak
8. Producing Reality television
9. Always being able to color inside the lines
10. Mariah Carey
Excuse me please; I need to go vacuum the floor, and I am cranky.
I mean really! Must we waste all the good technology on cures for cancer?
The dinner party was fabulous, blah blah blah.
The food was fabulous, blah blah blah.
However, I am currently unable to discover peace and self-fulfillment while cleaning. Perhaps I need a lobotomy.
***********************************
Other Benefits of a Lobotomy:
1. Job Satisfaction
2. A constantly perky smile
3. An ability to watch Dubya make a televised speech without wanting to squish his tiny head
4. The ability to discuss lawns and sports scores ad nauseum
5. A permanently cheerful outlook
6. A fulfilling career as a Playboy Bunny
7. An uncanny talent for doublespeak
8. Producing Reality television
9. Always being able to color inside the lines
10. Mariah Carey
Excuse me please; I need to go vacuum the floor, and I am cranky.
posted by L at 10:00 PM
12 Comments:
You're a delightful cranky housekeeper. But I'm not sure sure how Mariah is a benefit of having a lobotomy...
You forgot to mention a lobotomy gives you the inevitable urge to enter poltiics.
Larry: thank you, sir.
1. if one were to have a lobotomy, one could possibly be like Mariah Carey
2. if one were to have a lobotomy, one could possibly listen to the music of Mariah Carey and like it
rainypete: yes, thank for the correction :)
Jim Bliss: you are correct as always
dreamgurl: thanks!
How much does a lobotomy run these days? I am thinking about getting gift certificates.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I wish that I could clean with a hose. I suppose that I could, along with a scoop shovel, an air hose and a front end loader. . . and I'd still rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. Sorry - I had to say that.
To paraphrase George C. Scott in Dr. Strangelove, jeez I wish I had one of those lobotomy things.
LOVE the cartoon.... hilarious! Wonder if she can hose down her kids, too!
jpr: maybe we could get a group rate!
moos: heh heh. I bet you have a lot more cleaning to do than I do, what with all those cows and horses and things!
Comort Addict: they could definitely come in handy
panthergirl: that would make things a lot easier...
there is not a thing on that list i can do. but then i'm not very ambitious.
I could do Mariah Carey, I think. As long as she doesn't talk. It might depend on which ethnic side of her she's pretending to be that day.
mr anigans: ambition is overrated I think
glomgold: heh heh.... I think she would be way too annoying for anyone though
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