A Charming Weekend, During Which I Join The Forces Of Darkness

This weekend was lovely, charming, and, of course, quite fashionable.

I ate yummy tidbits at Cafe Dufrain, extensively admired the bullet holes in Chad and Cynthia's windows, then wore my third favorite hat to attend Chad's graduation at the University of South Florida.

As it is required by federal law, the university had recruited the most deadly dull speakers they could find-- which meant that some of us were able to have very convenient naps, interrupted only by the airhorn-toting mullet people who attend every graduation in the United States. Luckily, it only lasted about two hours instead of the usual ten.

Afterwards, we ate semi-delicious Italian food, and I solidified my allegience to the forces of darkness...

My friend Chad has an unemployed relative who treats him quite horribly, freeloads off her parents, sponges off her boyfriend, and tries her best to snub Chad and his wife whenever possible (unless a free meal is involved). She also "accidentally" neglects to tell them when the family cancels or moves events, and is abominably rude at all times. In fact, she didn't even bother to attend the graduation, only the dinner for which Chad and Cynthia paid.

So I sat in front of her, introduced myself, smiled extensively and made quite charming conversation: "So, what do you do?" (I knew she's unemployed and doesn't bother looking); "Oh, did you go to U.S.F. too?" (I knew she flunked out of two schools); "Oh, I just love your hair extensions! I've been thinking of getting them myself!"

Then I flirted with her boyfriend, who ignored her for the rest of the meal. Ha ha ha!

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To-day I am I cooking an absolutely Evil dinner full of butter, wine, garlic, eggs, sugar, and other things that are terribly bad for you. It's to celebrate Chad's graduation and Cynthia's birthday*

* I swear, this isn't turning into a food blog; I've just been cooking a lot lately

Menu**
1. A new version of my orange zest bundt cake (6 eggs, 3 sticks of butter, and almost 3 cups of sugar!) with oodles of fresh berries
2. Yet another lovely salad
3. Fresh French bread
4. Baked lamb with roasted garlic and red wine sauce, carrots, celery and onions
5. Cynthia's mother's Waldorf salad
6. Champagne!

**recipes available upon request

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Now that I am acting and cooking in a completely Evil manner, should I start wearing more black? It seems far too hot to be wearing a glamorous cape of any sort, but I could cultivate a vicious cackle, if necessary. However, I really need to work on an Evil plan for World Domination.

I am willing to take applications for Evil henchmen (or women), if anyone feels they have the proper qualifications. I will need the appropriate information, of course: i.e., the name of your lair, criminal name (if applicable), and of course any pertinent Evil acts you have perpetrated lately. Cheating on tax forms or ripping those little "Do Not Remove" tags off mattresses does not count, as almost everyone does those sorts of things.

All applicants welcome.