O'Happy O'Belated St. Patrick's O'Day and Luck O' The Irish To Ye

Don't you just love festive toilet paper?

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My friend Holly and I decided to celebrate St. Patrick's Day by drinking a certain quantity of wine and beer at a bar called Mad Dogs And Englishmen, which sounds horribly dangerous but isn't, really. The consumption of alcohol was for purely scientific reasons, of course, and was accomplished with a rather studious attention to detail and quality comparison. We determined that Guinness is good for you and that it tastes much better when actually drunk in Ireland, but that wine is also good for you and should be applied quite liberally when required.

You just can't be too careful these days.

As many know, the Tampa Bay area is just littered with fake pubs like this, usually with names like Something-O'Malley's or Finnegan's-Something-Or-Other. They're usually full of perky yuppies, Guinness, and Very Large Breasts, which frequently knock over innocent bystanders and cause rather unpleasant injuries.

We had a wonderful time, but perhaps should have gone with Steph and Anna to their little pub crawl in Dunedin; they hung out with muscly men wearing very short skirts and twirling fuzzy drumsticks. Holly and I saw absolutely NO men with short skirts and fuzzy drumsticks, which was quite disappointing.

She and I waxed nostalgic about our girlhoods and reminisced about her recent Elvis-filled nuptials, during which I was amazingly Stylish and wore an incredibly large hat. We discussed my upcoming trip to Graceland (I will dress up as Priscilla and my brother will dress as Elvis), the wonderful attractions to be found at the Liberace museum, and the charming qualities of the Flying Elvi. Many slices of non-delicious pizza were eaten, intoxicated Asian women were seen banging on doors, and only a very teensy tiny bit of alcohol was actually spilled.

Near the evening's end, an extremely tan young man came over to flirt with us a bit, but promptly ran away after Holly tipsily told him that I don't own a television.

And that was that.

Today the grocery stores are full of bright green loaves of bread, green cookies, horribly green bagels, and pale green cakes with green icing and green sprinkles. It all looks quite nasty.