Sunday, January 02, 2005

Resolutions, Predictions and Other Uselss Drivel

I just read that January is "National Get Organized Month". Fat chance of that happening here! I STILL haven't done my 2004 spring cleaning...

I'm on drugs right now, so I'll just shovel out some useless drivel before I retire for the evening. It probably won't make much sense.

***Five Predictions for 2005 ***
1. Reporters will foam at the mouth when we have our very first "Trial of the Century!" -- you know, like the Linbergh baby kidnapping trial, the Sacco and Vanzetti trial, the Rosenburg trial, the O.J. Simpson trial...

2. Cheney will receive a standing ovation for his speech on why "War is Peace" and "Slavery is Freedom"

3. There will be turmoil in the Middle East. This will involve a lot of oil. And sand, lots of sand

4. Congress will legislate changes to Social Security, which will now be based solely on pork futures.

5. Bush will urge the Muslims and Jews to resolve their differences "like good Christians"

***My New Year's Resolutions***
1. Spend at least 1/2 hour at the gym every day
2. Stop drinking caffeine
3. Complete at least 4 paintings every month
4. Complete my MCDBA certification and take another programming class at the university
5. Finally get around to reading Proust's Remembrance Of Things Past

***Ok, I Was Just Kidding. Here Are My Real Resolutions***
1. Think very firmly about going to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. Actually go for an hour 2 or 3 times a week, then complain about it a bit. Eat more cheese.

2. Drink caffeine every day. Drink even more if I have to deal with my archnemesis, the incompetent programmer with fat ankles (code named "Satan")

3. Putter around with paints a bit. Turn out 1 or 2 halfway decent paintings a month. Irrevocably ruin three pairs of pants and one sock while doing so.

4. Study a bit for MCDBA. Possibly take an exam, unless I decide to go to Key West instead. Screw the programming class; take a fun art class instead!

5. Purchase Proust's Remembrance of Things Past. Shelve it and unshelve it several times. Stare at it a bit. Re-read The History of Brothels instead. Shelve and unshelve Proust again. Stare at it a bit. Re-read Tropic of Cancer and A Confederacy of Dunces. Stare at Proust. Save Proust for next year.

On a side note, I just returned from watching Kinsey at the beautiful old Tampa Theatre. It was interesting and occasionally amusing. However, the real attraction was, of course, the theatre itself; it originally opened in 1926 and is a riot of wildly different architectural styles that seem to meld into charmingly schizophrenic "Florida Mediterranean". Before each film, an elderly organist rises up out of the stage floor -- a vast improvement over the half hour of dancing, singing sodas and fries at regular theaters. On Halloween, the organist wears a long black cape and fangs and plays Bach's fugue to rousing applause :)

(I pinched a couple of photos from their site here)


Blogger theomorph said...

Trials of the century... How could you forget the Scopes Monkey Trial?? *insert tongue in cheek* Now that was the Trial of the Century. *remove tongue from cheek*

You don't need to read Proust when you could just find the Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD containing the sketch "All-England Summarize Proust Contest." (Incidentally, I too have long considered reading Remembrance of Things Past.) (Also [and also incidentally], if you enjoyed the history of brothels and like history books about the nasty bits, you should try The Story the Soldiers Wouldn't Tell, which is about sexuality during the Civil War. Very interesting. Also includes a nasty picture of a guy with advanced syphilis.)

12:42 AM  
Blogger the frog princess said...

mmmm ... cheese.

the one and only time i went to tampa theatre was for the showing of a tale of two johns (the tmbg movie) and it was amazing. i wanted to go last summer when they were playing north by northwest but there was no one to go with me.
and of course when they were playing nowhere in africa, which i subsequently rented instead because everyone wanted to talk about going and no one actually wanted to go.

10:13 AM  
Blogger L said...

The Soldier book does sound interesting; I do have a weakness for terribly trashy history books...

and I LOVE the Tampa Theatre. I've even gone alone when friends have been too nerdy to go out. They always show great flicks -- even the old Chaplins and Keatons occasionally...

6:42 PM  

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