Rocket Propellants, Belly Dancing Lesbians and Beer
A couple of high school friends, home for the holidays, have sadly left too soon to celebrate the New Year with me. I suppose they haven't forgotten the year before last, when I accidentally took Britta to a belly dancing lesbian New Year's Eve party. She had requested a night out with hot guys (she's a field biologist, so the only males she tends to see are raccoons or ticks or things like that).
I actually meant to take her to my friend Carrie's art gallery New Year's party (which always has at least a few interesting men). But when a storm wrecked the place, Carrie said Come On Over to My House We're Moving the Party Here. We walked in to see a Christmas tree filled with photos of naked women and a house full of very nice lesbians, who were drinking and belly dancing. The only man there was an Eminem imposter name Hector, and Hector was impossible to talk to because he had to keep answering his cell phone saying things like Yo Yo Yo What's the Dough? or something like that. We had a good time anyway, but Britta swears she'll never let me take her to a party again...
However, I still managed to get face time this year with a couple of the high school buds. We dragged my brothers along and drank many beers at a seedy bar in Ybor city. Heather needed it specially, I'm afraid; she's a rocket scientist stuck in UTAH, of all places. After a few beers, she and my brother Jason (he tests jet engines) became very competitive over who has seen the best explosions at work. They spent at least a half hour bragging about all the huge shrapnel they've seen. Heather won; rocket propellants are much more exciting than jet fuel, and she's created shrapnel the size of a small compact car!
The rest of us felt really left out though. I NEVER get to blow ANYTHING up at work; it's quite disappointing. Why didn't I study rocket science??? Even my brother Matt is doing some interesting things-- he builds robots, and there's always the off chance that one of those might explode, I suppose. My job is so boring sometimes....
I actually meant to take her to my friend Carrie's art gallery New Year's party (which always has at least a few interesting men). But when a storm wrecked the place, Carrie said Come On Over to My House We're Moving the Party Here. We walked in to see a Christmas tree filled with photos of naked women and a house full of very nice lesbians, who were drinking and belly dancing. The only man there was an Eminem imposter name Hector, and Hector was impossible to talk to because he had to keep answering his cell phone saying things like Yo Yo Yo What's the Dough? or something like that. We had a good time anyway, but Britta swears she'll never let me take her to a party again...
However, I still managed to get face time this year with a couple of the high school buds. We dragged my brothers along and drank many beers at a seedy bar in Ybor city. Heather needed it specially, I'm afraid; she's a rocket scientist stuck in UTAH, of all places. After a few beers, she and my brother Jason (he tests jet engines) became very competitive over who has seen the best explosions at work. They spent at least a half hour bragging about all the huge shrapnel they've seen. Heather won; rocket propellants are much more exciting than jet fuel, and she's created shrapnel the size of a small compact car!
The rest of us felt really left out though. I NEVER get to blow ANYTHING up at work; it's quite disappointing. Why didn't I study rocket science??? Even my brother Matt is doing some interesting things-- he builds robots, and there's always the off chance that one of those might explode, I suppose. My job is so boring sometimes....
posted by L at 7:34 PM
4 Comments:
Geez, you know interesting people. All my friends and family are in the humanities so we have historians and writers and biblical scholars (blech) and such. You can be sure that if any of them are ever found blowing things up, it will not be good news.
Not only that, but I used to hang out with a bunch of cavers (spelunkers) who liked to blow things up too! I never get to blow things up... sigh
Well, you know, once the President bankrupts the country then declares himself King (I read this scenario in a letter to the editor of the local paper yesterday), we'll have a reason to start a revolution, then we can form militias to fight the government and blow stuff up. :-)
(By the way, after reading that letter with the President-declares-himself-king scenario, I actually sat back with my cup of coffee, took a sip, stared out the window at the rain and thought, "Yeah, we could get weapons and fight for our freedom. Could be cool. I could totally do that.")
Blowing things up is best left to the experts. Many of them work for you and me at the Pentagon, and they are really on a tear lately. Personally, I'm happy to stay WAY on the sidelines...
Happy New Year!
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