Saturday, August 26, 2006

Nap or Gym?

To-day I am debating whether to focus on my mental health (nap) or physical health (gym).

Or perhaps I should combine them both and just try napping at the gym.

This is a rather pointless post. I mean, even more pointless than usual, which is really saying something.

Anyway, my good friend Bill just returned from his trip to China, which is apparently quite different from Florida. We've just finished a charming lunch, over which he detailed the trip and made up lame excuses for not bringing me exotic presents.

For one thing, he caught a terrible case of dysentery from a garnish.

It was very hot and humid.

He also had enormous quantities of Chinese waitresses giggling at him.

And at one point he went to get a massage, not realizing that a "happy ending" was part of the offered service. He, not speaking Chinese, attempted to communicate his reluctance to the masseuse, who spoke no English. Apparently, this communication consisted of a series of esoteric and occasionally obscene hand gestures to indicate that:

1. he hadn't realized that a "happy ending" was an added bonus
2. he didn't need a "happy ending"
3. he didn't want a "happy ending"
4. he is gay

The conversation ended in a draw, with great confusion on all sides.

Everyone will be glad to know that his side trip to Japan was much less confusing and also lacking in dysentery.


off to the gym!


Blogger Ron Southern said...

45 thousand? How'd you get so popular? You must be older than I know. Anyway, nap at the gym? Good compromise! I never thought of that!

4:08 PM  
Blogger roselle said...

napping at the gym is the perfect solution...because really the rest of your time is FAR too precious to be spent napping...and can instead be spent pursuing FAR more engaging activities...biggest ball of lint ever made, most surface area of nails bitten in one al!

5:42 PM  
Blogger Mushy said...

I have a brother-in-law who thinks naps are for sissies. I think he is the sissy for never enjoying one of life's great pleasures - especially on rainy days.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Flashtrigger said...

My brother's lame roommate just spent his rent money at a massage parlour here, hoping for a happy ending that he never got. Maybe he should move to China.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue 2 said...

Having dysentery from a garnish would not want to make me want a massage. But it would make the massaging person question their ability in producing a "happy ending"..

I think you should take a nap and kick your legs about. This accomplishes both goals..

9:29 AM  
Blogger L said...

Ron: I'm not sure what happened, actually.... but I have been blogging for almost 2 years now! (2 years at the end of September).

Roselle: I completely agree! I'm actually partial to the largest ball of string, however-- rather than the ball of lint :)

mushy: naps are the best! I love them and have them whenever possible -- for my health, you know

flashtrigger: heh heh -- maybe he should :)

happy and blue: hello my dear! Yes, I cannot believe he was actually well enough to actually move from the hotel to the massage parlor, actually.... and actually, I went to the gym, then napped :)

10:09 PM  

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