Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I couldn't resist....

As I continue to explore the furthest reaches of irresponsible laziness, I decided to bring part II to yesterday's post on the 1950s lad mag. To-day we shall focus exclusively on advertisements, as they are terribly amusing. At a later date I shall, perhaps, bring part III with more pin-ups... as usual, click to enlarge.

Do you want to know "the truth about NUDISTS"? We provide the "BARE FACTS about people who join camps where THEY WEAR NO CLOTHES!"

Do you know that research scientists are uncovering "many new astonishing facts every month" about sex? Also,"Can You Answer These Questions?
1. How can women become pregnant yet remain virgins? 2. What is a stone baby? 3.In what part of the world do men suckle infants? 4. Can you beget children years after your death? 5. Who are transvestites? 6. Why do some boys become pregnant? 7. Why are girls in some primitive tribes infibulated? 8. Can twins be born, one black and the other white? 9. What is phantom pregnancy? 10. How does reproduction without sex take place? 11. How rare are children with tails? 12. What is telegony?

We can provide "immediate comfort for you" with our "patented RUPTURE-EASER", which is for Men! For Women! For Children! In fact our enormous RUPTURE-EASER has had "over 700,000 grateful users"!

I bet you want "A Way with Women!" Send us money, and "they seek you out, they come tearing down your doors, they won't let you go! They are yours, YOURS ALONE."

I'm not sure why anyone would bother sending away for these, as they can get the same sort of thing in The Brain that Wouldn't Die-- which is really a fabulous movie, by the way.

If our other ad didn't work send us more money, and we can "make women go for you! Yes, they will go for you. They won't let you alone. They can't help it." In fact, "ten years in college won't give you the advantage this booklet gives you"!

If that doesn't work, we also provide a patented "FIGURE SLIMMER Now offered for the first time"!

If husbands only knew... that these two women are obviously dating each other

what is with the accordion obsession???

BONUS: Charles Atlas ad! Yay!

That is all; I'm going to the gym


Blogger Nyx said...

What did they use as a model for that guys Figure Slimmer? A Ken Doll? Surely that pouch is a bit ambitious in size?

8:32 PM  
Blogger Morgan said...


A florida artist you might like to check out. She was an instructor at my college breifly, in 2001-2.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Senor Caiman said...


Excellent post.

That hernia underware is kinda cool.

9:37 PM  
Blogger roselle said...

oh L! you always make my tuesday night a little bit brighter!!!

9:54 PM  
Blogger Flaurella said...

You never cease to amaze me. Not sure how you find all the old suff but I well remember being fascinated and titillated (have always loved that word) as a young lady in Tampa, reading the backs of magazines.

Rock on!

9:55 PM  
Blogger Mariana said...

For years I knew nothing of men's love for a cat fight, and now it's like i see evidences of it everywhere. I want my innocence back! ;)

11:21 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue 2 said...

As someone who has ordered all of those products I just want you to know they are all a gyp.
And they don't send your money back promptly like they say they will. I am still waiting for my dollar back for some of them..

11:45 AM  
Blogger L said...

Nyx: Ken does seem to be packing quite a bit of "heat" there :)

Lisa: ooh! thanks for the linky

Senor Caiman: Hola and gracias, Senor

Roselle: I'm glad I could brighten your day :)

Flaurella: I love love love old magazines-- especially the ultra cheesy ones that make me giggle

Mariana: oops! sorry... hehe heh heh

happy and blue: maybe you should take it up with the Better Business Bureau :)

10:04 PM  
Blogger Paul B said...

Great post. I found your blog by searching for blogs on satire. I'm glad I did!

4:07 PM  
Blogger L said...

Paul B: I'm glad you enjoyed it-- come back and visit any time

8:03 PM  
Blogger Mr Qixpoioi said...

It’s no secret that a man’s ego has a powerful pull on him.

In fact this hardwired need to impress and to WIN is so deeply embedded into the male mind...

That nearly everything a man truly desires is based around this biological “drive” to prove, succeed and to win.

It’s why so many men become workaholics, gym junkies or become obsessed with their hobbies.

But what most women don’t know...

...is how deeply this “drive” is connected to his love, desire, and attraction for the woman in his life.

And I’m about to show you how you can “tap into” a man’s ege to refocus that same drive and gut level obsession...

...on pleasing you, romancing you, and proving his love for you like you’re his sole purpose in life.

Here’s how: ==> The “Game ON!” Signal That Makes Him Obsessed With Winning Your Love ]


P.S. When you tap into a man’s ego this way, you can cause him to literally become obsessed with proving his love for you. So please don’t use this on a man unless you are ready for something serious.

10:05 AM  

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