Monday, November 28, 2005

Back From the Holiday!

I've returned from the Thanksgiving Holiday-- and I'm bigger and better than ever before!


Of course, I'm also back to our regularly scheduled programming of not blogging in a responsible or timely manner. But you just have to suck it up, because it's my blog! Bwah-ha ha ha ha!

I can post very good recipes and very bad jokes! I can go without blogging for an entire week! I can post obnoxious photos of furry little dogs in vaguely obscene poses! And no one can do a thing about it!


Today I am going to post about the simply Enormous Quantities of food I ate over the holiday. Why?
Because I'm never going to eat again.
Ever.

Earlier in the week I had gone to see an odd little film noir classic (Rififi) with Bill at Studio 620. The film freaked us out completely with its horribly death-defying scene of a small child riding in a convertible without any seatbelt. We tried to console ourselves by drinking beer at a faux British pub called Limey's, but were then freaked out completely by bad musical medleys and the sight of many chamber pots hanging from the ceiling.

After that, all I could do was head over to the river house for a metric ton of turkey, cranberry sauce, turkey, stuffing, port, turkey, green beans, turkey, mashed garlic potatoes, apple pie, turkey, apple pie, turkey, sweet potatoes, apple pie, pumpkin pie, turkey, wine, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, and turkey. Oh, and there was some turkey and apple pie too.

The next day we ate bushels of raw oysters, stone crab, and roasted corn before making s'mores over the fire.

A teensy tiny bit of wine may have been drunk that evening. My older relatives may possibly have been a bit tipsy and giggly. The discussion may possibly have ranged from the oddity of clown fetishes and losing virginity to the micrscopic miniskirts my mother wore in the sixties, their favorite drunk stories and whether or not they were ever in jail.

The neighbors only had to come over once to see who was making all that noise.

Oh, and there was leftover turkey, turkey soup and turkey too!

Turkey turkey turkey turkey! The more I type it, the weirder it looks.

Turkey!

16 Comments:

Anonymous Professor Twain said...

Sounds like you had the perfect holiday. Of course I am pleased that the charming and bookish young man has a suitable name.

If you drag out the Indian Clubs you might find that you can eat even more and retain your trim figure!

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/ProfessorTwain/Earlyfitness.jpg

It is also wonderful to see you show such respect for the elder relatives. Plying them with wine to learn their secrets, now that is a great idea.

12:20 AM  
Blogger roselle said...

turkey is indeed a weird word. as is the phrase "weird word"!
but the bird is weird looking too. i don't quite understand the function of the red flap!

10:46 AM  
Blogger FreeThinker said...

Turkey ... the funny word for a funny bird that tastes good! Happy tryptophan coma!

6:07 PM  
Blogger brendalove@gmail.com said...

I'm just now waking up out of my coma....

5:22 PM  
Blogger L said...

My Dear Professor: I have yet to try those Indian clubs you recommend, but I shall certainly make an effort to do so. And, of course, I always treat the older generation with respect :)

atractiva: it is definitely a very odd bird

freethinker: It's one of my favorite dishes, so I try to have it throughout the year when possible

brendalove: me too!

10:00 AM  
Anonymous April said...

Holiday party. My house. December 17.

Be there or be square.




in other news, Hi!!! I heard someone today that sounded just like Britzel and I was taken aback. But it wasn't her. Oh well! Invitation to holiday party extends to Vince and Britzel too!

10:40 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue said...

Are you saying that your mother lost her virginity to a clown when she was wearing a miniskirt and then she got drunk and ended up in jail.
What a strange tale of mayhem and mystery..

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Larry Jones said...

Now we know for certain that the terrorists have not won.

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Way to take charge around here. Good for you and your exhibitionist dogs!

10:40 PM  
Anonymous NPR Junkie said...

Oh, happy thanksgiving for you! Give thanks for the endless quantities of Turkey and Stuffing!

I'm glad you had a good time eating, L.

BTW, is Bill your young man?

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Rhodent said...

Just for the record... I have NEVER been in jail and the miniskirts were LATE sixties and and early seventies. Also, clowns are okay, but no fetishes here... I think that was your brother...

10:40 PM  
Anonymous mr anigans said...

there's only so much turkey one can ingest before bursting

i suspect i passed that mark

10:41 PM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

So, turkey, huh? I must make a note of it for the next Thanksgiving.

10:41 PM  
Anonymous green eyed lady said...

So much fun amidst the feasting. Loved your description of "may possibly have ranged from the oddity of clown fetishes and losing virginity to the micrscopic miniskirts"-

10:41 PM  
Anonymous mark said...

wow, my holiday seems so dull now

10:41 PM  
Blogger L said...

April: Oh no! I might not be able to go... My friend Steph is graduating that day and is having an Enormous Hat party in Palm Harbor... I will check on the times, however, and see if I can't manage to do both

happy&blue: yes, that's EXACTLY what I'm saying! Can you believe how irresponsible she is?

Larry: heh heh heh

Lisa: those dogs are awfully cute, though, aren't they

NPRJunkie: No, Bill is a friend who bats for the other team. Vince is the new man (I'll post a photo I suppose)

Rhodent: methinks thou dost protest too much

mr. Anigans: I'm still recovering from the turkey coma myself

Mariana: yes, I highly recommend having turkey for thanksgiving

green-eyed lady/silver moon: the conversation was definitely a good one!

mark: hmm.... maybe you should serve alcohol next time then

10:41 PM  

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