Saturday, October 29, 2005

That Special Time of Year....

Yes, it's that special time of year again-- the season for carving pumpkins, getting sick on candy, and wearing pointy little hats.

Sadly, many conservatives have tried to ban Hallowe'en recently, alleging that it teaches little children to become witches, cast spells, worship Satan and become demonically posessed. But everyone knows that little children are already demonically possessed, so I really don't know what the problem is.

As for myself, although I occasionally do cast a mysterious spell on the various men around me, I only worship Satan when it is convenient. It's not like the everyday trials and tribulations of such a fashionable young lady require the constant intervention of Beelzebub. Only very special occasions will find me hopping daintily onto my broom to meet with my coven: tax season, November elections, stressful work deadlines, etc. And my associates are really quite charming; we usually just meet for tea, and only cast spells when absolutely necessary.

We're actually considering applying for a special non-profit tax status and we just elected a Treasurer. It's all really quite respectable and organized. You can see us at various fundraisers throughout the year (Satanists for Affordable Housing, Save the Bats, and PETA) and we also do Adopt-A-Highway now, in addition to our annual Bake Sale and Witch's Sabbath.

Someday soon we hope to have a clubhouse!


Anonymous Professor Twain said...

Dearest L,

You are perfectly believable as a witch of the right type. Follow this link to see how you can blend your interest in witchery with your love of fashion:

Your faithful admirer,

8:20 PM  
Blogger L said...

Professor: I think others would agree :) I will definitely check out the site, now that I have time

7:49 PM  
Blogger NPR Junky said...

Oh L, can I join your satanic coven? I want so desperately to belong. :-)

9:09 PM  
Blogger L said...

oh you can! just sign our membership form in blood :)

9:44 PM  
Anonymous mr. anigans said...

so tell me, why pointy hats?

9:45 PM  
Anonymous chickie said...

Good luck on the clubhouse. Every coven needs a nice place to just hang out.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous comfort addict said...

I love the satirical tone, L. You really do that well - unless the tone is not - er, never mind.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

Sounds good to me. And everyone witches' club should have an ugliness pageant, for the ugliest witch!

9:45 PM  
Anonymous LLCoffee said...

I can just see you and your mates covening for the weekly meet in some unsuspecting childs treehouse..

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Happy and Blue said...

Do you get to have parties with the Warlocks, or Masons as they are now called..

9:46 PM  
Blogger L said...

mr. anigans: because they're quite fashionable

chickie: that's what I always say :)

comfort addict: satirical tone?

Mariana: but I'd lose!

llcoffee: coffeeshops are nice too

happy&blue: not really-- it's much nicer to just hang out with the girls

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you didnt include links, so here are a few:

And speaking of recently getting non-profit status, this church just did:

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Green Eyed Lady said...

I adore the wit of your posts, as you know by know. This year's boiling caudlron is simmmering as I type...too bad it can't work magic to let truly cast the type of spells that would make a differenc in our world.

All that seriousness aside, a holiday filled with costumes, kids, and that alltime essentail fortifying Food GROUP, aka chocolate, is here. I'm sans chocolate for now, so as I melt from withdrawal: Spooky, kooky, fun wishes for a Happy Halloween!

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Happy Halloween!

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Kosh said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Kosh said...

Damn conservatives, trying to ruin Halloween! Actually, damn conservatives everything.

Hope your Halloween wasn't a complete washout. I've got some candy left over if you want to visit the house and gorge yourself on chocolate. We actually had to make a candy run at 8pm after the kids cleaned out our supply, and that was limiting everyone to two pieces.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

I want to wear a pointy hat but it is banned here in Texas, for some reason. I think it is because they used to be white pointy hats back in the day when ignorance reigned. Hmm, maybe I can wear a coon-skin hat like Daniel Boone did... and attend your PETA party. What fun!

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Brenda Love said...

I can't wait for your "what happened on halloween" post.

9:48 PM  
Blogger L said...

none: heh heh sounds like a church I should join

Green-Eyed Lady: thank you! I hope you had a wonderful Halloween

Lisa: thank you

Kosh: I have to tell you that I'm NEVER EATING CANDY AGAIN! EVER!

Mark: now that would be interesting

Brenda: this isn't THAT kind of blog! Except when it is

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Kosh said...

You, give up sugar? - what did you do with L???

9:48 PM  
Blogger L said...

hee hee!

9:48 PM  

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