A Few Notes on Aging and Willie the Wonder Dachsund
I am trying to figure out if it is Oil of Olay or perhaps some sort of pact with the Devil-- but my grandmother looks far too young to have turned 80 (er, I mean 79) this weekend. After quizzing her to discover the secret, I have firmly resolved to have even more butter, red wine, garlic, tea and rich sauces whenever possible. You just can't be too careful these days.
Aging has it's drawbacks I know; for one thing, you're required to complain about sciataca and arthritis a bit. But there are senior citizen discounts and Early Bird Specials and relaxed garden puttering to recommend it as well. It's really too bad that we've gone overboard on some of the modern conveniences, however. You just don't see anyone with an ear trumpet anymore; it's always those boring little hearing aids now...
To help us celebrate, my great aunt Elaine brought Willie The Wonder Dachsund, who is quite mad. Willie enjoys Brandy Alexanders, kleenex nibbling, jumping hysterically, sticking his tongue in people's ears and peeing like a girl dog because there are no trees in North Dakota. He also enjoys biting her oxygen tank hose, which initially worried me a bit; I read News Of The Weird, and it always seems that people are blowing themselves up with these things.
Hopefully I have convinced Willie to visit with my grandmother and aunt. I plan on cooking my famous pesto lasagna and taking them all to the Florida Aquarium to see the jellyfish display. I think the Aquarium has those little motorized scooter things available, which might make it easier for my aunt. Actually, I'd use one myself too. She can bring her oxygen tank, and I could buy an ear trumpet. We could whiz around the place scaring the old people and popping wheelies on our way to the Aquarium cafe, which serves seafood of course.
Aging has it's drawbacks I know; for one thing, you're required to complain about sciataca and arthritis a bit. But there are senior citizen discounts and Early Bird Specials and relaxed garden puttering to recommend it as well. It's really too bad that we've gone overboard on some of the modern conveniences, however. You just don't see anyone with an ear trumpet anymore; it's always those boring little hearing aids now...
To help us celebrate, my great aunt Elaine brought Willie The Wonder Dachsund, who is quite mad. Willie enjoys Brandy Alexanders, kleenex nibbling, jumping hysterically, sticking his tongue in people's ears and peeing like a girl dog because there are no trees in North Dakota. He also enjoys biting her oxygen tank hose, which initially worried me a bit; I read News Of The Weird, and it always seems that people are blowing themselves up with these things.
Hopefully I have convinced Willie to visit with my grandmother and aunt. I plan on cooking my famous pesto lasagna and taking them all to the Florida Aquarium to see the jellyfish display. I think the Aquarium has those little motorized scooter things available, which might make it easier for my aunt. Actually, I'd use one myself too. She can bring her oxygen tank, and I could buy an ear trumpet. We could whiz around the place scaring the old people and popping wheelies on our way to the Aquarium cafe, which serves seafood of course.
posted by L at 10:01 PM
2 Comments:
I can't wait to see pictures of Willie doing wheelies...
Like your blog, L!
maybe I'll get a pic when he visits-- he's terribly cute
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