Sunday, March 26, 2006

Making Mountains out of Molehills: a Mathematical Proof

Although in 1929 Czech mathematician Kurt Gödel determined that the equality of mountains to molehills was a proposition that couldn't be proven either true or false given the rules of that branch of mathematics devoted to mounds of dirt, we here at Random_Speak know that that is a load of rubbish.

In fact, it is quite easy to prove that a mountain may be made of a molehill, and vice versa, using basic everyday logic.

Any schoolchild can learn how to do it!

This theorem is of fundamental importance in the Molehillian Geometry where it serves as the basis for the conversion of size for two points, one being a mountain and one being a molehill. It's so simple that anyone who learns it can't fail to forget it long after they've completely forgotten all the other math they've learned in school.

Below is one just one approach to proving the theorem.

1."molehill equals molehill" is true.
2. Given that "molehill" can be assigned the value 0, the statement "0 = 0" is a valid typographical number theorem
3. The value "molehill" has the theoremhood property of n2 -1, given that n2 - 1 = 0
4. n2 = 1 (mod x) implies that x|(n2 - 1), or x|(n - 1)(n + 1). Therefore, either x|(n - 1) in which case n = 1 (mod x), OR x|(n + 1) and then n = x -1 (mod x).
5. Next, [(x -1)!] = 10x = [1]x·[n-1] = [n-1]x, which is written as (n -1)! = -1 (mod x)
6. Multiply by the value of pi
7. This gives us 1 <>2 = n (provided n>4), which is therefore divisible by n
8. The result is that, if 1 <>2, then (n - 1)! = P2, which also has a base altitude of xy/2, or the standard deviation of amplitude for an average hilltop
9. Divide by zero

This theorem is a basic mathematical formula that can be used for calculating various conditional and often exaggerated values in politics, economics, market behavior, consumer indexes, as well as everyday situations. It can be applied to almost everything including the probability of existence for objects such as weapons of mass destruction, the looming threat of the gay agenda in mass media, the war on religion, and so on. Indeed, this theorem's central insight — that a mountain can be made of almost anything, let alone a molehill — is the cornerstone of all subjectivist Molehillian methodology.

If you followed all that, you can now say with reasonable confidence that you "understand L's Theorem of Molehillian Conversion." That is, you now understand how you too can make a mountain out of a molehill.


Anonymous greywulf said...

What's most worrying is that I followed your logic perfectly. I concur with your assesment.

Also, remember that all molehills are mountains if you're an ant.

4:38 AM  
Blogger L said...

greywulf: that's true-- I think it has something to do with reluhtivity :)

11:17 PM  

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