Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thou Crusty Botch of Nature! Eat My Leek.

I am feeling rather Literary to-day.

As I am trying to be Nice for Santa, I thought that I would post something Educational, Edifying and Enlightening: my favorite quotes from Shakespeare!
(I can't help it that so many seem to be insults)


O illiterate loiterer!

Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you
stock-fish! O! for breath to utter what is like thee; you tailor’s yard, you sheath, you
bow-case, you vile standing-tuck!

There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.

Thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.

Thou lump of foul deformity!

I never saw thy face but I think upon hell-fire.

Eat my leek.

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.

I will smite his noddles.

'Tis such fools as you
That makes the world full of ill-favor'd children.

A dull and muddy-mettled rascal.

Thou crusty botch of nature!

This is the foul Flibbertigibbet.

I cannot endure such a fustian rascal.

Thou art unfit for any place but hell.

A wretched puling fool, a whining mammet!

Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.

Let vultures gripe thy guts!

The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!

That bottled spider, that foul bunch-back'd toad!

I do desire we may be better strangers.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Professor Twain said...

What a talented girl you are!

Can you curse in Spanish and Mandarin as well?

11:33 AM  
Blogger Larry Jones said...

No footnotes or references? Santa doesn't like that....

5:51 PM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

Forsooth, Santa and Shakespeare in the same post, you never cease to amaze me. Only eight more days until the big day... I hope you can make it.

11:41 AM  
Blogger L said...

My Dear Professor: No, unfortunately. But I can swear in Italian!

Larry: I DID say they were Shakespeare :) Some from the Merry Wives of Windsor, some from Richard III, etc.

Frustrated Writer: I can wait for it (still haven't finished my shopping!)

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Nice stache! I can never get mine to fill out that well... Where on earth did you find that photo?! It's great.

Enjoyed the Shakespeare too

11:16 PM  
Anonymous rainypete said...

Forsooth, thy venom is like honey to mine ears.

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

Me thinks I smell a generator afoot... and where do you get these amazing pictures? :D

11:16 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue said...

Santa should like that,I guess, although I might tone it down just a tad before you send it..

11:16 PM  
Anonymous tickgirl said...

Eat my leek?

Is that like "Kiss my grits!"?

11:16 PM  
Anonymous rhodent said...

So when did you run into Andrew?

11:17 PM  
Anonymous Brenda Love said...

May the Plague of Greece be with thee!

11:17 PM  
Anonymous Carol said...

I am going to add "I will smite his noddles" to my everyday language. Thanks. :)

11:17 PM  
Blogger L said...

Lisa: I find most of my photos from vintagelovelies.com, some from silentladies.com. Others from my magazine collection and Ebay

11:17 PM  
Blogger L said...

rainypete: yeah! mine too!

mariana: actually, these are genuine quotes from Shakespeare's plays-- not from a generator at all, believe it or not. Some of them I had already jotted down at one point (because they were so beautiful), but I also found some more by looking at a famous quotes website

Happy & Blue: Santa loves me, so should get offended

Tickgirl: I think so!

Rhodent: heh heh heh

Brenda: thanks!

Carol: I agree; that is a rather useful phrase

11:17 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Those are good sites! Thanks!

11:17 PM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

I thought you used the Shakespearean (on this page, scroll a little down)

http://www.insultmonger.com/gene...ators/ index.htm

And I agree with Lisa, great links!

11:17 PM  
Blogger L said...

lisa and Mariana: they are, aren't they? I used to use another site too (Tack-O-Rama), but they appear to be closed down for some reason...

11:18 PM  

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