Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Spreading Joy Wherever I Go....

As anyone who knows me can tell you, I spend my days spreading joy and wonder wherever I go-- and I don't always have to wear a red sparkly outfit with furry accessories to do it either.

They're just an added bonus.

To-day, in fact, I proudly helped make the world a better place:

1. I baked a somewhat delicious plum fruit bread for my team at work. And I deliberately did not eat the entire thing before sharing.

2. I showered.

3. I wrote a lovely lunch invitation to someone I haven't seen in a very long time and I remembered to send it.

4. I did not learn to play the accordion.

5. I did not run about shrieking and flinging pencils during meetings. I didn't pretend to faint when asked for an update, start fires when given agendas, or otherwise make a nuisance of myself.

6. I did not belch along to Christmas songs.

7. I refrained from eating twenty pixie stix and a six pack of Coca-Cola at work.

8. I followed all traffic laws and local, county and federal regulations at all times.

9. I didn't make fun of someone's new facial hair. Much.

10. I bought a crack-whore Barbie Bratz doll (her request) and some books for a girl in the adopt- a- needy- child- for- Christmas program

I am sure I will be rewarded handsomely by Santa for all these things, of course.

Has anyone else been as Nice as I've been?


Blogger Capn Rich said...

I don't see how. You're an angel alright. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

4:47 AM  
Anonymous tim said...

Yeah, I have to admit, I aim to be more naughty these days.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Professor Twain said...

I suggest a change of pace. There are two problems with your approach. First, your cheerful and cooperative behavior only makes the lonely misfits of the world feel more inadequate. Second, if you continue to make the world a better place at work, I expect that people will just give you more to do. Lower expectations a bit. For tomorrow, why don't you try:

1. Bring in some leftover Cheerios that have been pawed by a preschooler.

2. Don't shower or shave--give the guy with the facial hair a run for his money.

3. Write a cranky email to someone you supervise. CC your entire address book.

4. Bring in a banjo and practice.

5. Wear your "No I won't fix your computer" t shirt (available at thinkgeek.com).

6. Do your Chipmunks version of a medley of the most religious of Christmas carols in front of the office Jesus Freaks.

7. See if you can eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts at one sitting.

8. Speed like a demon, singing "Highway to Hell".

9. Sounds like you were on target with the facial hair teasing anyway, but a little competition may get on their nerves.

10. Steal from the Jerry's Kids change jars whenver you can.

If you are a very bad girl, maybe Santa will bring you a copy of his favorite holiday book:



5:11 PM  
Blogger L said...

Capn Rich: Indeed I am, Sir

Tim: not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you

My Dear Professor: I DO try to be cheerful and cooperative. However, perhaps I should take your advice on lowering expectations. I especially like # 4 :)

11:22 PM  
Blogger Ron Southern said...

If all those negative things count, then yes, I've been even nicer than you!

7:23 PM  
Blogger L said...

good for you Ron! hehh hehh heh :)

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Deb said...

L - Let's see:

1)I thought about baking cookies for co-workers, but didn't
2)I did shower today
3)Accepted a lunch invitation from Bill
4) I still can't play the accordian
5) I believe I did shriek once or twice during a meeting with Brian, but threw no pencils
6) I belched, but not to Christmas Carol
7) No pixie stix or Coco-cola today, but did have a bag of animal crackers
Drove really fast to my dentist appointment and broke the sound barrier in the process
9) Kissed a mustached man that I really like
10) I bought a camping crack-whore Barbie, I mean Bratz, at the request of my adopt-a-child

Close, but not at nice as you!

11:19 PM  
Anonymous april said...

Heya L.
My list:

1) I thought about your plum bread and the fact that it sounds really good.

2) I showered, and had a difficult time getting out of the shower because it was so much hotter than the house.

3) I awaited my lunch date invitation from L to buy books for Ian.

4) I ogled accordian players (my favorite!)

5)I expelled much phlem and snot from my nose and throat.

6)I did sing along to 94.9 all-Christmas, all the time

7)I did not eat said phlem and snot.

I ran around trying to get C's car taken care of (done) and did not break any (major) laws while doing so.

9)I kissed my well-shaven boytoy.

10)I neglected to purchase any holiday gifts (again).

Not quite good, but I'm still proud of myself. I mean, I didn't eat my boogers!

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Happy and Blue said...

1) I brought undercooked turkey to the staff party. To keep them regular.
2) I didn't shower so people would leave me alone. It worked so well I may not shower tomorrow either.
3) I ate lunch alone.
4) I learned to play the accordion. It hasn't made me popular at social events like they promised it would.
5) I sat alone at a meeting because the turkey I brought kicked in.
6) I didn't belch but I did adjust myself. A lot. It's a guy thing.
7) I passed out exlax to all the staff and told them it would stop the diarrhea from the turkey.
I casually left the parking lot. The staff appeared to be absent when I left but their cars were in the lot.
9) I would never make fun of someone’s hair. But I did draw a happy face on my bald co workers head.
10) I bought a truck for a needy child but I decided to keep it for myself.
Overall, I'd say it was a pretty good day..

11:19 PM  
Anonymous :Lisa said...

Just how often do you wear red sparkly outfits with furry accessories? I'm curious. :)

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Brett said...

Why aren't you on my team? I bring them the occasional homemade cheesecake - they give no baked goods whatsoever in return.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous NPR Junkie said...

L, lets see how I stack up:

1] I did shower today, and will most likely shower tomorrow.

2] I did not make my beloved cry today, even though he has told me my short hair makes me look like a boy.

3] I rescued a cat over the weekend.

4] I refrained from throttling a co-worker when she started going on and on about her wedding next summer.

5] I baked snickerdoodles for my cookie exchange at work, and didn't eat them all.

6] I was dragged to the mall over the weekend and did not (DID NOT) commit aggregious acts of violence while there.

Doing pretty good, I'd say.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

Awww, it's so kind of you to join that program and give a child a toy... and I could never whistle or belch.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous Santa said...

That's good, you have been nice.
When I turn up I will leave something nice in your stocking .... :)

If I shave my legs will that be good enough in them?

11:20 PM  
Anonymous glomgold said...

Everyone's got it wrong! Learning the accordion is a GOOD thing. I may do it someday. The world will thank me. As a global accordian player I will do as much to aid world peace as, say, the U.N. but without oil for food scandals.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous glomgold said...

Say, there's been quite a dearth of cheesecake and midgets of late here...

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Kosh said...

I love that your blog comments have become this wonderful self-confessional for us readers.

What did I do today to make the world a better place

1. I ordered take out from Carrabba's and gave the girl who runs the food to your car a tip larger than I would have if I ate in the restaurant (it was pouring!)

2. I showered with Calgon goodness. If Happy and Blue's experience really worked out well, I might think of adopting it.

3. I didn't send several e-mails I wrote after re-reading them and breathing in and out MANY times.

5. I did not pull a Norma Rae at my desk when the boss decided to share his ideas for changing our work-space (maybe that's a bad thing, I'm not sure.) Give me high cubicle walls or give me death!

6. I freed the world from one more bottle of the evil of alcohol (a lovely bottle of Cotes de Provence.)

11:21 PM  
Blogger L said...

Deb-- it sounds like Santa will be very good to you then I wonder what Brian would do if you DID throw pencils at him?

April: my plum bread is better than boogers any day!.... dammit! I forgot to call you after getting swamped with project thingys and such-- tomorrow-- I SWEAR!... I do love that dork face you left in your comment :-B It looks like me!

happy&blue: well, maybe you'll get all that coal you've been wanting

Lisa: only when necessary!

Brett: You are just a very unlucky person, I guess Of course, you would have to be a MAJOR geek to be on my team.... I mean HUGE, in a pocket-protector, relational database sort of way

NPRJunkie: those snickerdoodles sound fabulous just by the name-- what's in 'em? gonna post a recipe by any chance ?

Mariana: to be honest, I can't actually whistle either.

Santa: hehe heh heh... I had no idea you were so pervy :)

Glomgold: now THAT I would pay to see... sorry about the lack of cheesecake and midgets lately... I could try doing a post to combine the two sometime this weekend, of course

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

Hmm, I think you are ahead of me in the "nice" category...

1. I bought 2400 sugar cookies for 700 kids to decorate at Christmas parties.

2. I showered sometime this week, I just know I did.

3. I called someone up and said, "Hey, I'm hungry, you up for wings?" They said "yes" and we indulged.

4. I snatched an accordion from an accordion player's hand and beat it to death with a bagpipe I had snatched from a piper's hand.

5. I set up a shreiking and pencil flingy relay race and had my staff rushing around the building madly, shrieking and flinging away... Not sure it did them any good but I felt better.

6. I belched along to Christmas songs but couldn't quite hit the high belch on "Oh Holy Night".

7. I ate a whole package of seasonal colored peanut M&Ms.

8. I ran two redlights, a stop sign, and sped only twice this last week. I'm getting better!

9. Facial hair is sacred. Never make fun of it.

10. I bought presents for 700 kids to give to them at a Christmas party. I think they will like the pokerchips and Uzi sets the best.

Love your list and may the Big Guy in the Suit be extra nice to you.

11:22 PM  
Blogger L said...

Mark: I certainly hope so-- and I sincerely hope that he is nice to you also!

11:22 PM  
Anonymous comfort addict said...

Thank goodness for number 4. Unless your last name is Yankovic, you're not allowed.

Number 5 gives me an idea for a business gift of Christmas, 2006: a rocket launcher pencil holder (and launcher).

You'll have to teach me number 6 sometime (I'm also looking for an original way to get doubling pay on gigs).

On my nice list, I have avoided using sarcasm and irony for a couple of days now (very hard for me). I've also tried to be a calming influence while other shoppers and cashiers lose it. Finally, I did not go ballistic (completely, anyway) when the vacation that I was supposed have last week was almost entirely consumed by troubleshooting; for that, I think that I deserve a medal.

11:22 PM  
Blogger L said...

comfort addict: NEVER give up on irony!

11:23 PM  

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