Monday, July 25, 2005

The Happiest Celebration On Earth!!!!!!!!

I was so excited after the big DisneyWorld bash last weekend, that it's taken me an entire week to calm down enough to blog about it! In fact, I don't think I can even use enough exclamation points to describe it!!!!! That's how exciting it was!!!

To celebrate my great aunt's 75th birthday, we decided to revel in the exquisite taste and culture that is DisneyWorld/Epcot. (!!!!!)

Day One: DisneyWorld
We carpooled to the Magic Kingdom and began sweating immediately, ingesting various liquids as we explored the big plastic wonder that is Disney. We admired the giant plastic Swiss Family Robinson tree house, giggled through the plastic cemetery in the Haunted Mansion, oohed and aahed over plastic pillaging in the Pirates of the Carribean, then admired realistically plastic wildlife during the plastic jungle boat tour!

The beautiful gift shops stretched as far as the eye could possibly see, and each ride spat its passengers out into a gorgeously plastic array of expensive gifts that were lovingly tailored to each specific theme. As we waded through hordes of fainting children, we debated the merits of the plastic pirate swords, the plastic commemorative plastic, the plastic sombreros and plastic viking helmets -- all lovingly constructed by perky young mouseketeers in China.

Periodically, paramedics would rush frantically through the crowd to revive a tourist overcome by the heat, the ticket prices, and the thrilling song and dance numbers that spontaneously erupted in the streets. But we pushed on regardless, and even managed to catch a distant glimpse of the Cinderalla castle pink and purple multiple princess extravaganza! It was priceless!!!!!!!

Day Two: Epcot
Whereas the Magic Kingdom is known for its classic plastic, Epcot maintains a more contemporary plastic look in its showcase of science and global culture. Frankly, we didn't get to see much of the science stuff, as a lot of that part has been taken over by gift shops. But we did get to watch some sleeping manatees and the plastic hydroponics showcase.

We went to the Japan showcase (which is really just like Japan, only with slightly fewer Hello Kitty souvenirs) and admired their gift shop. Then we watched adorable acrobats in the China showcase (which is really just like China, only with a lot less communism) and admired their gift shop. We also went to the Mexico showcase (which is really just like Mexico, only poor people aren't allowed) to admire their gift shop. Later, we went to Germany (which is really just like Germany, except their gift shop has a much higher percentage of Hummel figurines).

We ate a yummy Moroccan lunch at Morocco, admired a lovely belly dancer with attractive implants, gazed longingly at the giant turkey leg vendors, then ate a very good French dinner at the France showcase (which wasn't like France at all because no one seemed to hate us too much).

So we really had an enjoyable time, especially after all the sugar we ate, and the birthday was a resounding success!!!

Just for good measure: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Blogger panthergirl said...

I am such a moron! I thought it said "To celebrate my 75th birthday..." LOL

Glad you had such a great time! My mother lives 30 minutes from Disney World, so I'm Epcotted OUT!

11:51 AM  
Anonymous SilverMoon said...

I'm elated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (was going to make 75 !, but I need my fingers to create art- lame excuse I know lol)

(This is Green-Eyed Lady's other blog... not schizo)

5:35 AM  
Blogger L said...

panthergirl: I know what you mean

Green-Eyed Lady: I'm so glad!!!!! and I never thought you were schizo, but the voices in my head thought you might be :)

9:27 PM  
Anonymous editengine said...

I don't believe that you went to Disney in the summer. What kind of Floridian are you? Tell you aunt her birth date precludes any outdoor activites. Floridians know that they should only go to Disney between November and Febuary, the rest of the year the place is full of extremely pasty and sweaty northerners.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Vile File said...

Fantastic review. It should be printed on the tourist brochures.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Kosh said...

Ohh, I envy you; I adore Epcot. I always spend way too much money there on trinkets and alcohol, especially during the Food and Wine Festival.

Do you know what the letters in the acronym Epcot stands for? Here are some of my favorites:

Experimental Prototype Community Of Transvestites
Experimental Polyester Costumes Of Tomorrow
And my favorite (because I invented it after the Food and Wine Festival):
Every Person Comes Out Trashed

11:44 AM  
Anonymous rurality said...

It's been so long since I've been to Disney World that Epcot wasn't even built then! Would like to go one of these days.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous kosh said...

P.S. J and I are going to this: comingup.cfm

Let me know if you are interested, should be a good time

11:45 AM  
Anonymous comfort addict said...

LOL. That guy in "The Graduate" was right ("Plastics!").

I have actually never been to Disneyworld or Epcot. I went to Disneyland when I was out with the Glenn Miller Band in the 80s. I spent some time behind the scenes. Let me tell you: you don't want to see how the sausage is made. People sweltered in costumes. The Gestapo had nothing on the security force. All in all, it was a harbinger of the coporate America I would grow to know and love.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous moos said...

Plastic & Sugar what a combination!

Were you gazing longingly at the vendors or the turkey legs?

11:46 AM  
Anonymous glomgold said...

Well now, finally, after manufacturing all this Disney World merchandise, China will have their own little multi-billion dollar Disney kingdom.

I must one day experience this plastic extravaganza. Especially the Moroccan implants; that's just so exotic!

11:46 AM  
Blogger L said...

editengine: I can't believe we did it either! it was fun though, despite the incredible heat

Ms. Vile: perhaps I should market this post to Disney

Kosh: heh heh -- and I think I would be interested in that little outing with you guys -- let me check the ol' calendar

rurality: when you go, make sure it's in the fall

Comfort Addict: yeah, I heard they're a bunch of Nazis...

moos: definitely the turkey legs

glomgold: it was very exotic. each country was JUST like the real country, if the real country were composed exclusively of gift shops

11:46 AM  
Anonymous mokey said...

L . . . after all of your education--and your father a funeral director--you'd think you'd know it is cemet-E-ry.

Also, while the souvenirs and many of the costumes ARE plastic, the attractions are mostly fiberglass!

I point this out only to help you to maintain an accuate and as authentic a blog as possible!

Your self-appointed editor/research assistant

11:46 AM  
Blogger L said...

mr. mokey: thanks for pointing out the typo :)

and after all that scrabble, you'd think that you would know that "accurate" is not spelled "accuate". hee hee!

keep up the good work, sir!

11:47 AM  
Anonymous mark said...

I am going to have to make it out to Florida one of these days and have the Disney experience.

11:47 AM  
Blogger L said...

You might want to rethink that :)

11:47 AM  

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