Survey and Market Research

As of late, there have been remarks that this blog does not contain enough sex and violence to retain market share among corporate America's target audience. As a result, our investors have expressed a great deal of concern.

However, we here at Random_Speak feel that you, our core customer, should remain the focus of our mission statement. Therefore, we have appointed a committee whose duties will be to: A.) examine ways to improve customer satisfaction, B.) hold meetings and C.) look very concerned about the whole thing.

Committee members are hand-picked subject matter experts and anxiously await your feedback.

Our goals:
1. To improve customer satisfaction
2. To retain our high-value customers
3. To increase brand awareness
4. To eat, drink and be merry
5. And much, much more!

The Random_Speak committee will do extensive research on the latest cultural trends, then triangulate that with blogging audience demographics. They will then compile a thoroughly-written and boring report that illustrates to shareholders how this blog can find success within its niche market, whatever that turns out to be.

Random_Speak will adapt to changes in the search engine market, as well as changes to our industry and marketing goals. When consumers search for "violent midget families on skates", "enormously bland sexual handkerchiefs for sociopaths", and "horribly violent forks that maim sexy drunken co-eds", we want to be Number One!

We will use verbatim customer comments to understand their general thoughts and market behaviours using specialized text analysis for linguistic extraction. Additionally, a market segmentation study will identify our target demographics, geography, lifestyles, and socioeconomic status. This will allow our marketing program to develop a clear, branded message, as well as to focus on the subset of consumers who are most likely to read this crap.


Brief Marketing Survey
1. Should we rename this blog, which has an incredibly lame name-- keeping in mind that people do Google this name?

2. If this blog is renamed, what would be a good name to reflect its content? Unfortunately, "The Hot Librarian" was already taken.

3. Due to the low percentage of sex and violent content should we: A.) Start posting more photos of animals without pants? B.) Earnestly list ways to violently maim aggressive drivers talking on cell phones? C.) Discuss sexually suggestive celebrities who smoke crack and get arrested? D.) All of the above?

4. Please inform us of your response to these core phrases:
A.) Chaos, panic and disorder
B.) Drunken spending sprees
C.) I like cheesecake
D.) Also, unsuitable men
E.) Cheap, meaningless and rather sordid activities
F.) Plotting revenge is fun
G.) Especially in odd situations

Thank You for your support.