Thursday, June 09, 2005

Burn All The Books!

Oh, why did I ever learn to read?

I've packed box after box after box of books in preparation for my move: trashy history, vague philosophy, slutty memoirs, weird fact collections, cheesy science fiction, slobbery frothy poetry, edible fiction, non-stodgy nonfiction, antique anecdotes, artsy-fartsy and random oddities.

And I still have a couple of bookcases to go.

I suppose it's just another symptom of my gradually progressing neurological disorder.

And I suppose it doesn't help that I keep having to sit down and peek at pages. In fact, I've accidentally started re-reading The Prodigal Rake, which is really a wonderfully trashy autobiography written by William Hickey, an eighteenth century Englishman who led quite an interesting life: he embezzled money from the family business, fell into bad company, drank enormous quantities of alcohol, squandered money on fast living with loose women and eventually became a lawyer. It's really quite amusing, as he talks about his pimples and hangovers, eighteenth century condoms, disasters at sea, offensive scatalogical jokes and brawls.

In the introduction to his memoirs he notes "there are many low and indelicate anecdotes related, and many gross and filthy expressions used, by no means suited to meet the eye of any chaste person, and, of course, not at all adapted for critical disquisition." And what better recommendation can we have than that?

Oh, why can't I be a good person and watch television instead? I heard Beverly Hills 90120 and Survivor are good shows...

16 Comments:

Blogger The Doctor said...

"Lost", dammit! Go watch "Lost"!

11:42 PM  
Blogger Rainypete said...

I can't watch too much telly, it make my head go all mushy! I prefer to get my dreck from print.

8:18 AM  
Blogger -c said...

I'm in the middle of a move too, from Japan to CA, and boxing up bookcases and giving away books. Unfortunately, I keep accidentally 'trading' for others I just HAVE TO read. And now, you've botched my move even more! I have to get my hands on the Prodigal Rake. Thanks a lot!

8:22 AM  
Blogger Comfort Addict said...

I'm putting "The Prodigal Rake" on my Amazon wish list. As for TV, steer clear of local news and, by all means necessary, that new Celebrity Dancing show. My wife made me watch just a few minutes the other night and I'm still babbling.

11:48 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

take up watching sports because you can still read while the game is in progress, just look up when the announcer's voice raises in pitch.

5:31 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Why don't you just get a job in a library. You could be the night cleaner dusting at night and reading all day.
And you could wear fancy hats in the daytime and a cleaners cap at night which is also kind of a hat..

10:29 PM  
Blogger brendalove@gmail.com said...

I love, love, LOVE my books! You can never have too many books...just too little space to keep them in! That's why you're moving, right?

Television....I could care less unless its the news.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Nyx said...

Oh, you go girl. Books are so much more imaginative than TV.

3:36 AM  
Blogger L said...

the Doctor: I haven't even heard of "Lost" -- sounds like Survivor though

rainypete: I'm with you on the printed dreck-- I have a special fondness for incredibly trashy history...

-c: sorry. it's really an amusing book though :)

comfort addict: It reminded me slightly of Boswell, only quite a bit less literary and a LOT more juvenile with less socially redeeming qualities....

frustratedwriter: I've tried to be interested in sports, but it doesn't seem to work!

happyandblue2: I actually used to want to be a librarian (and I actually am geeky enough to want an old-fashioned card catalogue for my apartment (if I have enough room after I move)....

Brenda: I'm actually moving to get out of a low-lying evacuation zone.... but running out of room for more books would be another good reason I think.

llcoffee: there are some interesting t.v. shows out there, but I prefer to wait until they get out on dvd then rent them from Netflix :)

5:03 PM  
Anonymous Alisa said...

Oh, I feel your pain.

I hate moving, as I cannot throw out any piece of literature.

1/2 - 3/4 of my boxes are books.

I ran out of bookcases, and now they tend to get scattered haphazardly about the house, to be read a 2nd, 3rd or 4th time when they are rediscovered.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous moos said...

I'm an addict too, with no plans of recovery.

Not only do I read - I buy. . .

My main dealers are abebooks, B&N, and eBay.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous rhodent said...

Glad you are taking all of your friends with you to the new place. If you started to get rid of any of them, I would be worried about you!

AS far as TV goes, I think you would actually enjoy the humor in Desperate HOusewives that is on Sunday evening... it's all re-runs for the summer, but you could catch a show or two to get up to speed. That is if your new next door neighbor at your duplex has a TV!

This summer, I am mostly watching the tropical updates on the weather. After last summer, that is about as much excitement as I can handle!

10:27 PM  
Anonymous mr. anigans said...

moving books definately sucks. i have about two bookshelves worth that i carry around. my new roommate moved in not that long ago and the number of books in the house quadrupled.

so now, maybe a 1500-2000 books in the house. probably the same amount of cd's. about 800 dvd's. 150 vhs, 150 records.

it's like a small library here now.

10:27 PM  
Blogger L said...

Alisa: I also have a very difficult time getting rid of books, unless they're terrible of course

moos: my main "dealers" tend to be abebooks, local used bookstores and antique shops, but I also poke around Amazon.com

Rhodent: you know you LOVE the excitement of Hurricane Season!

Mr. Anigans: will you marry me? I could use some more books..

10:27 PM  
Anonymous glomgold said...

That sounds like quite an interesting book. I somehow have a hard time reconciling the notion of 18th century folk and pimple-talk.

10:27 PM  
Blogger L said...

glomgold: I suppose they had them even worse back then-- their nutrition wasn't as good, and they didn't have any marvelous facial cleansers.

10:28 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home