Wednesday, June 01, 2005

La La La.... Stormy Weather.... La La La

I think the monsoon season has begun again, although drizzle is better than sizzle, I always say. Friendly cockroaches are parading two by two into everyone's houses, my current hairstyle is "nuevo afro", people are glowering at the sky, and even my brain is damp. However, no one is frying eggs on sidewalks, at least this week.

As I languish decoratively at my computer desk, I'm admiring the soggy scenery and thinking ahead to-- you guessed it!-- Hurricane Season, which is every Floridian's favorite time of year.

In fact, I am already thinking ahead in quite a responsible manner, taking stock, looking pensive and making a plan:

My Hurricane Season Preparedness Guide

1. Move
(I briefly considered moving to South Dakota, but then I remembered their lack of charming tapas eateries. Instead, I am moving to a "non-evacuation" zone in St. Petersburg)

2. Buy tons of bottled water and cookies, in case of emergency
(You just can't be too careful these days)

3. Buy duct tape to cover windows
(This actually does no good whatsoever. However, it really is quite the fashionable thing to do)

4. Buy tons of canned goods to donate to worthy causes after Hurricane Season ends
(Unfortunately, I still have last year's canned peas staring grimly at me)

5. Fill bathtub with clean water
("They" always say to fill the bathtub with clean water in case of emergency. I suppose I shall just have to take a nice relaxing bubble bath)

6. Buy oodles of batteries
(I do this every year, but then I can't find them, or they're the wrong size or something)

7. Buy charming rain slickers
(In several colors, of course, to match a variety of little outfits. One must not sacrifice fashion for practicality)

8. Place all important documents in a watertight container
(As soon as I can find them, I will)

9. Learn to make even-numbered lists


P.S. Did you know that I am now #2 on Google when you search for fuzzy drumsticks?


Blogger Comfort Addict said...

Wow. I don't envy you. I'll take our Michigan snowstorms and tornadoes over hurricanes any day. On the bright side, at least your list doesn't include "make sure that you have a shovel and warm blankets in every car."

8:46 PM  
Blogger GreatBeefalo said...

well, if you wind up not having any hurricanes, you can do fun stuff with the leftovers, like duct tape your batteries to the windows and spell festive things like "Happy Hanukah" or "Get Off My Property".

12:21 AM  
Blogger L said...

at least they're not like earthquakes... we can see them coming

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You will have to edit. Fuzzy Drumsticks actually puts you at #1 now....

10:49 PM  
Anonymous glomgold said...

Yes, I concur. You're #1 (for fuzzy drumsticks) on all the major browsers I'd say.
That list of 9 items is kinda bothering me so I think I have to leave.

10:49 PM  
Anonymous kosh said...

You forgot a very important staple for hurricane season - wine. It's always good when you are stuck in a house with five other people, four of which are future in-laws.

How goes the house hunt? Will we be neighbors soon?

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Frally said...

I'm with Glomgold, an uneven list makes me grind my teeth. Stoopid OCD.

Hope you don't get blown away! (Not to sound picky or anything, but where's my tacky Florida souvenir? I've been hanging out for it! A roll of duct-tape will be sufficient.)

10:49 PM  
Anonymous rainypete said...

If Duct tape was so good for storm resistance why would you not either construct your home from it, or at eh very least wrap your entire home in it? Red Green would be proud!

I would recommend altering the one suggestion to filling you rbathtub with clean ice. That way when the power goes out you have a place to keep all your alcohol chilly and there by would be better ready to survive the harsh powerless days to follow.

For the water concerned folks, you could use the melted ice so t woudl really pull double duty.

10:50 PM  
Anonymous jpr said...

In my opinion, odd #'ed lists are only OK if they stop at 3 or 5.
A top 3 list is very olympic and a top 5 list is really just the lazy man's top 10 list divided by the nice even # 2.

A list of 7 or 9 though...not cool.

10:50 PM  
Anonymous Vile File said...

No alcoholic beverages on your list?

Cocktails are positively medicinal, and hence an essential part of a first-aid kit.

10:50 PM  
Blogger L said...

yay! #1 for fuzzy drumsticks!

Kosh: I think I may have found a place -- might be signing a lease this weekend

Frally: I will check on the status of the package... hmmmm.

rainypete: sounds like a plan to me

jpr: I'm sorry I'm so uncool :P

Ms. Vile: I don't have to buy alcohol, because I already HAVE alcohol :)

10:50 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue said...

I would load up on guns. Then you really wouldn't need to prepare so much..

10:51 PM  
Anonymous mark said...

I would invite an interpretive dance team over to stay with you so you could toss a couple out every now and again to appease the hurricane gods.

10:51 PM  
Blogger L said...

Happy&Blue and Mark: these are both excellent ideas, which I may have to implement as part of my general plan...

10:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home