Dear Santa....

Dear Santa,

How are you doing? I see you've put on a few pounds since last year. Ha ha ha!

I still haven't killed anyone yet. I am fine.

I have been very, very, very, very good ALL year, and I followed all traffic laws and local, county and federal regulations at all times. I did not run about shrieking and flinging pencils during meetings. I didn't pretend to faint when asked for an update, start fires when given agendas, or otherwise make a nuisance of myself. I was a very Good Citizen and mostly did my very best to flirt with inappropriate men behave on every possible occasion.

You seem to be senile, so I would like to bring your attention to the fact that last year I requested a musical instrument, which you neglected to bring me: a pico-something... pico.. piccol... piccolo... uh... gigolo. Yes, that's it-- a gigolo. I do hope you don't have Alzheimer's remember to bring my gigolo THIS year, as I'd like to start playing one right away. I need all the practice I can get.

In addition, I would like the following small items:
1. a pony
2. ninja skills a yachting trip
3. a trained monkey
4. my very own ice cream shop
5. an AK-47 twenty five silk dancing frocks
6. a private movie theatre with red velvet seating
7. a lifetime supply of various cheeses
8. a personal assistant
9. millions and millions of dollars an end to Poverty
10. the ability to cloud and control men's minds World Peace



I will include additional items in a convenient addendum to follow later.

Hugs and Kisses!

-- L