A Shocking Statistic

Sadly, another year has come and gone -- and I still haven't got my very own pony.

When I was a very young girl, I always said that I would just die if I couldn't have one of my very own; but luckily, my immune system was strong enough to withstand the potentially debilitating effects.

However, it is a shocking fact that, all too frequently, other young girls are not so fortunate.

While it is true that only a very small percentage of six to seven year old girls actually die because they can't have a pony, it has remained a troubling statistic over the years. Although during the last quarter century, the increase in the rate of these deaths has been slow (perhaps reflecting a gradual decrease in awareness), the fact remains that young girls just die because they can't have a pony in only slightly less numbers than they die from running with scissors, not looking both ways, taking candy from strangers, and playing with matches.

In 2005 --in Florida alone-- an estimated 1,078 girls aged 6 to 7 pouted, cried, sickened, wasted away, and then died, just as they had threatened to do after being refused the simple and modest request for a pony.

Even the ones who don't just die can be at a much greater risk of health problems including, for example: melancholia, consumption, morbid vexation, the vapors, and woe. Other various depressive disorders are also not unheard of, although rare. Also, general unhappiness and low self esteem may linger for years, a problem that could potentially affect a significant portion of the population one day.

In addition, very young girls who just die because they can't have a pony can also have economic consequences as well. The fact is that early death due to this condition could potentially mean a severe drop in profits for the industries that specialize in pink hair bows, purple glitter pens, Barbie dolls, chapstick, jelly bracelets, pink plastic tiaras, and various other sundries. So a solution to the problem is not strictly limited to implications for the health of young girls -- but to the health of the community as a whole.

It is true that older girls are at much less of a risk than those who are younger-- but the danger remains. Year after year, they sulk and then waste away while parents mourn and ask "what if?" and "why oh why didn't we buy her a pony?"

Of course there is no easy answer. But perhaps, someday, there will be a cure.

Until then, the only hope is to persuade parents to buy ponies before it's too late.





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p.s. my birthday is coming up next week