Heh

I've been checking out the Archives at Savage Chickens.... my faves:

Art Gallery
Occam's Razor
The Arraignment
Full Potential
Worried Sick
The Hard Way
Epitaph
Sauron vs. Briscoe
Scrabble

OMG!!! Kittens!!!

Yours Truly has just trickled in from the très chic Beehives salon, which is to be highly recommended as I generally get to look at a kitten or a puppy almost every time I go in. To-day they passed around kittens like party favors, and now I am barfing out rainbows and sunshine like nobody's business. There is nothing like fuzzy black kittens to give one a sense of joie d'vivre and bonheur, as well as a bunch of other fabulously French words I am too lazy to look up.

Somehow, they also managed to give me a lovely coiffure while I sneezed and read lovely trashy gossip about anorexically buffed celebrities misbehaving badly.

In other useless news, my dear friend *Gerald went out with us last night and bragged about his new painful piercing. Of course, I'm too much of a lady to say exactly where the piercing is popularly said to be located, but I will say that it rhymes with "clenis".

I don't know about everyone else, but I plan to spend the rest of the day idling irresponsibly and nibbling on things that are terribly, terribly bad for me.



*"Gerald" isn't really his **name (I thought it would be a good idea to preserve his anonymity on teh intranets). His real name is Craig!

** The Random_Speak committee has decided that "Gerald" would be a fabulous name for a kitten, if we ever acquired one

Due to circumstances beyond my control, this is an actual blog post tonight

I hope everyone remembered to celebrate National Trivia Day today!

I briefly considered throwing a highly improper costume bash to celebrate, but then realized that I'd mislaid my sassy gold lamé Martian princess outfit. Again! And if I can't afford my very own petting zoo, then how can I ever afford enough champagne to fill a swimming pool? I feel quite peeved, to be perfectly honest. However, I cannot let the day pass without including only the very best in educational trivia...

to wit, "Valuable Facts For the Discerning Individual"


1. The longest recorded flight by a chicken is thirteen seconds.

2. For the amusement of Louis XI, the Abbot of Baigne constructed an unusual musical instrument consisting of a small herd of pigs that squealed in different ranges when pricked by spikes attached to a keyboard.

3. Seabee Leon Louie was the first person to ever be court-martialed for throwing a pie.

4. The Ophites were an early Christian sect who required that the communion be licked by snakes before being given to worshippers.

5. Shitala is the Indian goddess of smallpox.

6. The War of Jenkin's Ear (between Spain and Great Britain), which lasted almost ten years, was declared after a British sea captain claimed that the Spanish coast guard severed his ear (later pickled).

7. Levophobia is the fear of objects to the left side of the body

8. The French poet Edouard Corbiere spent a large amount of time constructing scale models of ships then destroying them.

9. In 1877 a Belgian society was formed to promote the use of cats to deliver mail.

10. A whale's penis is called a dork