Friday, March 09, 2007

due to circumstances beyond our control, blogging will resume this week

Well, the flight home was uneventful and correctly followed the airline industry's default operating procedure:
1. have the flight crew go mysteriously missing in order to delay departure
2. ensure that a minimum of one (1) mechanical problem is detected in order to delay departure
3. place sobbing infants at regular intervals throughout the cabin for maximum crying coverage
4. Give every passenger a copy of Skymall!

Yes, we here at Random_Speak love Skymall merchandise, which you can purchase from the comfort of your very own cabin seat, complete with mysteriously stained cushions, non-existent leg room and annoying seatmate (both the snoring and insanely talkative models are provided free of charge). Can one find a half-naked sumo wrestler table in just any catalog? I think not! Note the exquisitely pudgy arms, the straining facial muscles, the lifelike pallor, and the tasteful buttocks (delicately pointed away from the viewer). It's only $225.00!

For those with an intellectual bent, these Lord of the Rings/ Gollum bookends are the perfect gift. Note the winsomely adorable expression of the figure on the right. You'll return to the bookshelf again and again!

And then we have the artistic outdoor home decor, tailor-made for those who wish their landscaping could actually wear facial expressions. I'm considering this product, as I'd like my lawn to express its inner angst. The occasional water restrictions can really be quite vexing.

Uh, these are sort of weirdly cool actually.... I like the ones with the yellow ducks.

Labels: , , , ,


Blogger Krishen said...

I actually took that issue of Skymall home with me because of that very sumo picture, but I misplaced it. Thank you for capturing it. That entire magazine is so fun to look through -- you've never seen so much useless stuff (unless you had the previous month's issue)

12:18 AM  
Blogger L said...

I know :) I pore through it every time I fly!

7:26 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home