Sunday, February 13, 2005

It's been a bit of a busy weekend; however, I will post about that later, as I am feeling rather Romantic today...

Five Famous Romantic Couples

1. Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen
Immortalized in art and song, the story of Sid and Nancy still inspires. Nancy saw her first psychiatrist wnen she was 4, and at the age of 11 attacked her mother with a hammer because she wouldn't take her to a museum. Schizophrenic and a drug addict since the age of thirteen, she worked as a prostitute and fell in Love with Sid Vicious, the lead singer of the punk band "The Sex Pistols". Sid and "Nauseating Nancy" together took massive amounts of drugs, set hotel mattresses on fire and beat each other up. Nancy frequently sported cigarette burns, and Sid bashed her in the face with his guitar on more than one occasion. He stabbed her to death in a seedy hotel, briefly mourned her loss, then later overdosed on heroin.

2. Heloise and Abelard
Considered the greatest love story of the Middle Ages, the story of Heloise and Abelard remains one of the most famous of all time. In 1100, the scholar Peter Abelard broke the trust of a patron (Fulbert) and seduced his young neice Heloise, thereby committing statutory rape. She became pregnant, so he was forced to marry her. When he refused to publicly acknowledge their relationship and sent her to languish in a convent, her uncle Fulbert had him castrated. The heartbroken Heloise wrote numerous poignant letters to Abelard after he became a monk, but he later advised her to forget their relationship, as it was now Out Of The Question.

3. Wallis Simpson and King Edward VII
The Romantic love story of Wallis Simpson and Edward VII has brought emotional tears to the eyes of many. Simpson, an American who was married to a moody alcoholic, became Prince Edward's mistress ("It requires great tact to manage both men. I shall try to keep them both.") He had had several mistresses, but she remained his favorite due to a successfully managed sadomasochistic relationship. Although Simpson bullied him and apparently found his dependance claustrophobic, Edward Abdicated His Throne For Her after becoming king. They were both avid Nazi sympathizers-- and it was rumored that Simpson passed information to the Nazi foreign minister, Joachim von Ribbontrop, with whom she had an affair. 13 years after she married Edward, she reportedly had an additional affair with a playboy named Jimmy Donahue.

4. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow
Over the years, bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde have been immortalized together in film and popular music. Bonnie was married to a small-time criminal at a very young age, but quickly fell for Clyde, a cold-blooded killer and experienced thief. Together they terrorized banks and store owners during the Great Depression-- shooting their way out of traps, killing policemen and posing cheerfully for photos. Although neither was perfect (Bonnie had a deformed leg and Clyde had a couple of toes chopped off), they remained inseparable. After they were killed by law enforcement pumping more than 150 rounds into their getaway car, they were displayed for public entertainment; the undertaker had to squirt embalming fluid at the gawking crowds to keep them at bay.

5. Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas
The famous author and noted wit, Oscar Wilde, became enamored of the much younger Lord Alfred Douglas ("Bosie"), who was a spendthrift, a gambler, a school drop-out, and a notoriously tempermental Boy About Town with loose morals. Wilde supported him financially, always relenting when "Bosie" tearfully threatened self-destruction. Wilde eventually sacrificed everything for their relationship after Bosie's father succeeded in having Wilde prosecuted for Gross Indecency. Bosie remained manipulative to the end; Wilde was arrested, brought into bankruptcy court in chains, became a social pariah, had his career ruined, and was sent to prison for two years of hard labor.

Runners Up:
(in no particular order)

People I Forgot To Mention Initially, But Was Too Lazy To Write About:

King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn
Princess Diana and Prince Charles
John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe
Whitney Housten and Bobby Brown
Salome and John the Baptist
Cleopatra and Ptolemy XIII
Cleopatra and Ptolemy XIV
Cleopatra and Julius Caesar
Cleopatra and Marc Antony


Blogger Ian said...

Salome and John the Baptist just runners up? Having your flame's head brought to you upon a platter seems to have lost some of its original impact.

1:18 AM  
Blogger Frally said...

I'm hoping DH and I will be on a list like this in years to come, as a love that defies the ages. Now, should I poison him to death or run off with a drug addicted monkey tamer...or both?

1:57 AM  
Blogger Nyx said...

That was a really cool and interesting read. Thanks.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Deb said...

You forgot Prince Charles and Camilla. After, what, 25 years, they finally are engaged! She will get a title, but will never get to be crowned Charles' queen. But the real question, will Charles ever get to be crowned King?

5:53 PM  
Blogger L said...

Ian, you really have to forgive me for posting this so late at night... the "Runners Up" weren't really Runners Up at all-- they were "People I Forgot To Mention At First, But Didn't Have Time To Write About"

Salome and John the Baptist (as well as Henry the VIII and Anne Boleyn) should have definitely outranked Bonnie and Clyde as well as Oscar and Bosie. Oh well.

Frally: if anything weird happens, Don't Forget To Let Us Know

sorry Deb-- didn't mean to forget Ol' Charles and Camilla. There were probably a TON of others I forgot as well -- like Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley for example.

6:18 PM  

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