Resolutions:
Happy Belated New Year!
As is only right and proper, I have dutifully compiled a brief list of my New Year's Resolutions:
1. Buy a house
2. Finish writing my dreadful novel
3. Go to the gym or play Ultimate Frisbee at least every other day
4. Write a new blog post every day
5. Eat a healthier diet full of things like wheat and spinach and brown rice
6. Finally read Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
7. Try yoga
8. Throw myself back out into the dating scene and flirt with only NICE young men
9. Be kind to animals
10. Go to grad school to study chemistry so I can become an expert in rocket propellants and accidentally blow up enormous buildings and cars like Heather does.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Just kidding! Here are the real resolutions:
1. Procrastinate on buying a house for a while, then finally do it while completely freaking out over the amount of money I'm spending, then discover something horribly wrong with the roof or something like that.
2. Finish writing my dreadful novel, self-publish it on Lulu, and give it to people when they annoy me
3. Play Ultimate Frisbee twice a week and drink beer afterwards. Think very very hard about going to the gym every once in a while then let my membership lapse.
4. Write a new blog post every day when I'm ill or bored. Neglect the blog when there are fun parties.
5. Eat a healthier diet full of things like cheese and chocolates and berries
6. Pull Remembrance of Things Past from the bookshelf, stare at it a bit, reshelve it and read Wisconsin Death Trip or Freakshow instead.
7. Try yoghurt
8. Throw myself back into the dating scene but continue to flirt with inappropriate men, because that's more fun and who am I kidding anyway?
9. Be kind to the animals that I don't actually wind up eating.
10. Wistfully think of going to grad school to blow up buildings but suddenly realize that I am Lazy and not really all that fond of chemistry anyway.
As is only right and proper, I have dutifully compiled a brief list of my New Year's Resolutions:
1. Buy a house
2. Finish writing my dreadful novel
3. Go to the gym or play Ultimate Frisbee at least every other day
4. Write a new blog post every day
5. Eat a healthier diet full of things like wheat and spinach and brown rice
6. Finally read Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
7. Try yoga
8. Throw myself back out into the dating scene and flirt with only NICE young men
9. Be kind to animals
10. Go to grad school to study chemistry so I can become an expert in rocket propellants and accidentally blow up enormous buildings and cars like Heather does.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Just kidding! Here are the real resolutions:
1. Procrastinate on buying a house for a while, then finally do it while completely freaking out over the amount of money I'm spending, then discover something horribly wrong with the roof or something like that.
2. Finish writing my dreadful novel, self-publish it on Lulu, and give it to people when they annoy me
3. Play Ultimate Frisbee twice a week and drink beer afterwards. Think very very hard about going to the gym every once in a while then let my membership lapse.
4. Write a new blog post every day when I'm ill or bored. Neglect the blog when there are fun parties.
5. Eat a healthier diet full of things like cheese and chocolates and berries
6. Pull Remembrance of Things Past from the bookshelf, stare at it a bit, reshelve it and read Wisconsin Death Trip or Freakshow instead.
7. Try yoghurt
8. Throw myself back into the dating scene but continue to flirt with inappropriate men, because that's more fun and who am I kidding anyway?
9. Be kind to the animals that I don't actually wind up eating.
10. Wistfully think of going to grad school to blow up buildings but suddenly realize that I am Lazy and not really all that fond of chemistry anyway.
Labels: etc., excessive amounts of drinking, Happy New Year, Resolutions
