Thursday, April 12, 2007

I've Been thinking....

I'm not naming any names, but I certainly hope that the next time any of my friends are about to give birth they remember to embrace modern technology rather than trying to give birth the "natural" way, which, of course, is hopelessly outdated.

Why go through all the pain of pushing for 48 hours when you can just have your baby come shooting out of you in a stylishly convenient manner?

Forget the breathing, the salad tongs and the C-section -- just strap yourself into the Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force (Patent #3216423)!

Invented by George and Charlotte Blonsky in the 1960s, this technological marvel consists of:
1.) a delivery table, to which the expectant mother is strapped and which is spun around rapidly to generate centrifugal force in order to pop the baby out.
2.) a "pocket-shaped reception net"
3.) a "suitable hand brake"
4.) a safety fence to protect onlookers

I guarantee that this amazing device will completely revolutionize the whole process of giving birth!

* images taken from Wacky Patent of the Month

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Blogger Mushy said...

Where does the doctor sit with his catcher's mitt? "Throw it right here baby. Rapid fire!"

1:52 PM  
Blogger Sebastien said...

Human ingenuity. Never ceases to amaze...

Maybe if babies are born like this, well, maybe there's going to be a lot more trapeze artists in the world.

4:58 PM  
Blogger L said...

Mushy: that was my question too!

Sebastien: it certainly seems like an exciting way to do it.

6:48 PM  

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