Dork-Off! Also, a terribly scandalous play

I had previously written such an incredibly moving blog post filled with philisophical truthiness and brilliantly incisive commentary on the correct principles of reasoning and the essential nature of intelligence. There was critical analysis of international politics, a ground-breaking theory of artificial intelligence and a singular mathematical proof for the existence of cheese.

Rather unfortunately, the White House "accidentally" deleted it, so I will just babble aimlessly about random occurrences from the week instead.

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1.) I read Mark Twain's mildly alarming and scandalous one-act play, 1601, which tells the story of Queen Elizabeth trying to sniff out which aristocrat farted in her court. One of the cleaner excerpts runs as follows:

"In ye heat of ye talk it befel yt one did breake wind, yielding an exceding mightie and distresfull stink, whereat all did laugh full sore, and then-

Ye Queene.-Verily in mine eight and sixty years have I not heard the fellow to this fart. Meseemeth, by ye grete sound and clamour of it, it was male; yet ye belly it did lurk behinde shoulde now fall lean and flat against ye spine of him yt hath bene delivered of so stately and so vaste a bulk, where as ye guts of them yt doe quiff-splitters bear, stand comely still and rounde. Prithee let ye author confess ye off spring. Will my Lady Alice testify?"



2.) I attended the first of my earnest friend Brian's "Weird Movie Nights", during which we watched the mildly hallucinatory The Science of Sleep. I also got to meet Brian's friend Charles, who waltzed in with a partially shaved head (acquired from drunken revellers after he fell asleep at a party). It looked a bit like this:
It was most impressive and really lent a strong visual emphasis to our Dork-Off!, in which we bragged about novels, scrabble, discussed prank phone calls at the U.N. (as well as the accidental widespread usage of fake "Untied Nations" stationary), black market smuggling, odd film, Austria, magic realism, Werner Herzog and New York.

Because the haircut is truly a unique and beautiful thing, he decided to keep it for a couple of days -- which means that he was probably anally probed by Homeland Security before boarding his flight to-day.

As an emotional parting gift, Brian presented him with a light-up baseball hat that spelled out "Genius", which we hope will be worn the next time he pitches a screenplay. An added bonus was the fact that it did absolutely nothing to hide his haircut.

heh heh heh