Monday, January 16, 2006

I Need Electric Jammies....

It's getting a bit frigid here, which is just another example of the blatant false advertising practised by our tourist industry.

This is NOT bikini weather.

However, it is perfect for throwing snowballs, if we actually had any snow, and ice skating, if we actually had any ice. So it isn't a total loss.

On a side note, which has absolutely nothing to do with the weather, advertising or bikinis, last night I went on a blind-ish date with a young bearded person. We discussed film (making and watching), religion, franken-Uno, non-regulation bocce, the nature of science, the loathing of Dubya, facial hair, and odd haikus. In fact, we had an impromptu haiku contest, which he won, because he wrote something amusing about boogers, and all I could manage was a half-hearted something-or-other about coffee cups and mac n' cheese.

Our date was followed with interest by an Atheist discussion group who were playing with an atlatl at the next table over, and one of them gave me a business card after giggling at us.

The bearded man is nice, so we might possibly hang out again.

After all, he posted a charming photo of a pug in a wig, and everyone knows that I'm a sucker for small animals in funny outfits.

Here are some typical examples of online profiles:

Bachelor Number One: likes candlelight, long walks on the beach, fresh mountain air, golf, football and romantic evenings. And he WANTS 2 MEET U RITE NOW!!!

Bachelor Number Two: likes fresh mountain air, football, golf, romantic evenings, long walks on the beach and candlelight. And he WANTS 2 GO OUT SUM TIME?

Bachelor Number Three: likes romantic evenings, football, candlelight, long walks on the beach, golf, and fresh mountain air. And he LIKES 2 GO 2 CLUBS!!! DO U?

So now I'm just telling everyone that I loathe fresh mountain air and romantic walks on the beach. Do U?


Anonymous Bitch | Lab said...

Dayum. I freakin' love the images you come up with to illustrate.

8:33 PM  
Blogger roselle said...

freaking mountain air and candlelights. what's so goddamn special about it anyway? and really, when you ARE dating someone, how many times does one climb the mountain to breathe the mountain air or light a candle and look at the light it gives off???

9:01 PM  
Anonymous tim said...

a) Upon moving here and discovering meeting women of my type would be difficult otherwise, I went the online route and had zero success. I had a fantastic profile, really, but women just didn't seem to be interested in what I was interested in, or more specifically, as I was told later, they were intimidated by me. *shrug*. I think I responded to 42 profiles and got one response.

But that isn't why I responded. I responded due to the haiku thing, really, I just reflected on what I really thought at one point would be a successful career writing haiku. Odd haiku. Illustrated, odd haiku, of an autoethnographic nature. Haiku like:

I tried not to stare/There in the bar parking lot/Lesbians kissing

I miss those dreams of success.

10:04 AM  
Anonymous Professor Twain said...

Lovely post, as usual.

Do you have any of the gloves with the fingertips cut off so that you can work your database magic while keeping your hands warm? How about cashmere socks? I am guessing that you are a cold hands and feet person. My office was very funny, staff running around inside wearing buttoned up coats and gloves.

Since I have not dated since 1974, the whole online dating thing goes right over my head. lol ur2qt

The bearded one sounds most promising. Does he do his own homework?

Sorry to have missed you at Weegee. So did John tell you what a handsome devil that I was in my stylish ukulele shirt?

8:58 PM  
Blogger the frog princess said...

I detest people who spell things incorrectly on purpose: lyk, ppl, u, todae ...

as a matter of fact, I generally hate when people misspell things period.

(I reread to make sure I didn't spell anything wrong here ...)

10:44 PM  
Blogger Joel said...

Well you had yourself a regular My Dinner with Andre, didn't you? I have a feeling my conversations with most anybody would need plenty more fun pictures to reach any level of fascinating.

Sounds like the guy is 2 kool 2 b forgotten. Sorry, couldn't resist

1:13 AM  
Blogger L said...

bitch/lab: thank you :)

atractiva: exactly!

tim: heh heh... you intrigue me with you a) and no b)

My Dear Professor: John got quite the kick out of meeting you! I'm sorry that I had to miss the outing.... and from now on, I only date people who do their own homework :)

frog princess: I do the same thing. Great minds think alike

Joel: actually, it was a "My Coffee with Brian" :)

12:02 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue said...

I like setting things on fire, short walks to the fridge, having someone make my meals and napping. And I want to meet U RITE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The extra exclamation marks are to show I'm serious about meeting someone.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous mr anigans said...

i've never understood blind dates. it's been my belief that only women go on blind-dates. there's only one real flaw in my theory.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous *Rachel said...

OK, you didn't really talk about those things, did you? "And they call it hipster looo-ooove . . ." Jeez.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A man who can compose booger-themed haikus, what more could a girl want in a man? I must hear more!

And I, too, am in need of electric jammies. I was very cold last night, which is not good, given I am suffering from a head cold. My man thinks I am silly and says this is "nice weather", and that I don't really know what cold weather is like. But, I will forgive him just this once


9:36 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Too bad you can't go for a trip on the Love Boat or to Fantasy Island. Those people always seem to enjoy who they meet. Plus, there's Tattoo!

9:36 PM  
Anonymous NPR Junkie said...

My favorite with the whole online dating thing is this: when one meets someone who might have potential, only to find out in person the picture of said person GROSSLY misrepresents their current appearance, one is forced to explain a lack of a good fit. Said date then gets EXTREMELY upset and emails at odd intervals to reiterate how unfair that decision was.

Or, they talk about how much they like to PARTY ALL NITE!!!

9:36 PM  
Blogger L said...

Happy&Blue: my GOD!!! Could we B sole mates?!!

mr. anigans: blind dates are usually disasters, from what I've been told

rachel: yes, we did. I mean, what ELSE would you discuss on a date?

Deb: your man does not know what he is talking about, of course. It was quite chilly!

Lisa: can you believe that I'm the only American who never actually watched that show?

NPR Junkie: one thing I've noticed is that a LOT of men seem to lie about their ages online....

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

I haven't decided yet :)

9:36 PM  
Anonymous comofrt addict said...

Not bikini weather? Current temperature in Tampa, Florida: 82 degrees Fahrenheit. Current temperature in Detroit, Michigan: 37 degrees Fahrenheit. Enough said.

So you're dating again? What happened to that nice guy you were seeing for a while? Gosh, I leave for a couple of months and everything changes. Anyway, I hope that things work out for you.

By the way, I'll have to get one of those atlatls. It looks like the project management tool par excellence.

9:36 PM  
Anonymous mark said...

Online dating seems sort of freaky to me since you are basically peddling your wares on the dating equivilent of ebay. I like to form relationships the old fashion way in the way the good Lord intended... at a club. Okay, no I don't but I would take the chance encounter over the electronic one any day of the week... except for those days when one is desperate.

9:37 PM  
Blogger L said...

Comfort Addict: well, it was very briefly NOT bikini weather :) And I had to break up with the Accidentally Acquired Man as he was constantly trying to pressure me to do all his graduate school work... weird, eh? And, an atlatl does seem quite useful

mark: well, it is interesting. I'm really just using it as a way to meet interesting people... and if something else develops, that's cool

9:37 PM  

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