Sunday, January 30, 2005

Mofro, Hippies... I Tragically Turn 32

Last night I went to see Mofro, a blues-y funky sort of Southern rock band playing at an outdoor venue called Skipper's Smokehouse. They sing an awful lot about grits and women and porches and things. Drank hot cider spiked with rum and largely ignored the band, opting instead to stare at all the redneck liberals, aging hippies, rastafarians, pipe smokers and men with ZZ top beards and overalls. My father charmed the hippies at our picnic table, and they told us all about their bad marriages, henna tattoos, their trip to Kashmir and how the police station near their hotel exploded...

Quite a bit of weed smoke wafted from the crowd, so we vicariously got the munchies and ran to Perkins for pancakes and pie at midnight.

Woke this morning with a non-hangover hangover due solely to the fact that I am now another year older, and therefore another year closer to being Just An Old Fart. I am QUITE miffed at the fact that Skipper's DID NOT CARD ME last night! I am sinking in despair and considering a lawsuit-- or at least a strongly worded letter of complaint.

This morning I lay in bed for a while thinking about how miraculous the human body is, how it's such a complex piece of intricate machinery, and all the amazing things that can go wrong with it. Now I'm afraid to leave the house, because I may get jostled, and then something might fall off. I suppose I shall have to acquire some rheumatism or arthritis as well. My internal organs are sloshing around as I type this; they're arguing over who's going to go first.

*** Signs of Impending Middle Age ***

1. Someone says "weed" and you think of your garden

2. You absolutely, positively cannot stay up past midnight without leaning over on the person next to you.

3. You get a hangover from your antiseptic mouthwash

4. You start talking about the early years of MTV and people don't believe you when you insist that it actually used to play music videos.

5. You remember owning one of the following: parachute pants, a pet rock, flourescent clothing, a Wham!/ Michael Jackson/ Culture Club tape, feathered hair, leg warmers, kickers, acid washed jeans, plastic earrings, gloves without fingers.

6. You once had a crush on a.) Adam Ant b.) Coco from Fame c.) George Michael d.) the Go-Gos

7. You remember who shot J.R.

8. You have more than one prescription medication

9. You can't remember what #10 is


Blogger Kosh Naranek said...

Happy Birthday L! Ahh, I remember the days of celebrating our birthdays at Bennigan's, with a gaggle of waitstaff signing some god-awful version of Happy Birthday. Those were the days.

I recently received a similar list of "getting older" signs in my email recently, here are the highlights:

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Jim Bliss said...

Happy Birthday!

(albeit a day late)

Sounds like you had a pretty good night... impending decrepitude notwithstanding. Would it be inappropriate of me to suggest that the hangover may have had something to do with the spiked cider, rather than the anniversary of your birth?

Anyways, 32 is still "early 30s". You've not actually moved into a new age-bracket ("mid-30s") and won't for another two years. So don't fret too much. And as for the signs of impending middle-age... 1 and 2 can be defied, 10 was never important in the first place, and the other 7 are all badges of pride (some in a rather tenuous way admittedly).

So again, Happy Birthday!

12:02 PM  
Blogger Frally said...

Happy Birthday, L! Well done on 32 years. I understand that fear of something falling off after having a spill. I have lots of elderly relatives that are always telling me stories about their friends who had a fall and then had to get a new hip/arm/brain. Please God, Do Not Let Me Get That Old!

2:32 PM  
Blogger the frog princess said...

happy birthday, dear! I'm glad you had a good time for it, and don't worry about skipper's -- i went there with an 18-year old that still gets carded for rated r movies and they didn't card him. don't take it personally. maybe they just think the world's more fun drunk. anywho, i'm in a bit of a hurry but i'll email you later!

5:24 PM  
Blogger Larry Jones said...

I just checked the Fantasy Fest pictures in your November archive. Unless those are antique photos of you, don't worry. You're still a little girl. Happy Birthday.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Nyx said...

Congrats on another year L! I too have started to feel old and actually was thinking it was a fine subject for a blog, you beat me to it. Still, there are a whole lot more symptoms to mention...

BTW, your monet/laundry blog inspired me to take the girls to the art gallery this week although it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped for (see my blog for details) but I thought you'd like to know that you inspired someone half a world away.

Pretty cool.

7:53 PM  
Blogger L said...

thanks guys :)

isn't it strange how you can feel so young/irresponsible/immature without year after year -- and yet that little number just keeps going up...

Perhaps I shall have a midlife crisis, but I haven't really decided yet.

9:38 PM  
Blogger Larry Jones said...

I just checked back to say that I meant my first comment as a compliment, but I see you took it that way. Good.

10:08 PM  
Blogger dayna said...

Awww, I wish I was there, sounds like you had a LOT more fun than I did last week. I will blog about it tomorrow as I'm still recovering.

10:46 PM  
Blogger Mr Anigans said...

happy birthday....when exactly is this impending middle age? i might need to prepare now for my potential crisis.

1:33 AM  
Blogger John Q. Public said...

Happy Birthday, L!!! You're only 32? Jeez, you're still a kid!!!

12:08 PM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

Glad you had a great birthday. I can remember when you did have a crush on Adam Ant! Haven't lost my mind yet, so there is still hope for you. Just have to kee arthur at bay.

6:42 PM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

P.S. The hat was exquisite!

7:00 PM  
Blogger L said...

thank you. I actually did have a rather good birthday (post later), but I just like to whine and complain about things a bit, just because I can.

7:04 PM  

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