Mofro, Hippies... I Tragically Turn 32

Last night I went to see Mofro, a blues-y funky sort of Southern rock band playing at an outdoor venue called Skipper's Smokehouse. They sing an awful lot about grits and women and porches and things. Drank hot cider spiked with rum and largely ignored the band, opting instead to stare at all the redneck liberals, aging hippies, rastafarians, pipe smokers and men with ZZ top beards and overalls. My father charmed the hippies at our picnic table, and they told us all about their bad marriages, henna tattoos, their trip to Kashmir and how the police station near their hotel exploded...

Quite a bit of weed smoke wafted from the crowd, so we vicariously got the munchies and ran to Perkins for pancakes and pie at midnight.

Woke this morning with a non-hangover hangover due solely to the fact that I am now another year older, and therefore another year closer to being Just An Old Fart. I am QUITE miffed at the fact that Skipper's DID NOT CARD ME last night! I am sinking in despair and considering a lawsuit-- or at least a strongly worded letter of complaint.

This morning I lay in bed for a while thinking about how miraculous the human body is, how it's such a complex piece of intricate machinery, and all the amazing things that can go wrong with it. Now I'm afraid to leave the house, because I may get jostled, and then something might fall off. I suppose I shall have to acquire some rheumatism or arthritis as well. My internal organs are sloshing around as I type this; they're arguing over who's going to go first.


*** Signs of Impending Middle Age ***

1. Someone says "weed" and you think of your garden

2. You absolutely, positively cannot stay up past midnight without leaning over on the person next to you.

3. You get a hangover from your antiseptic mouthwash

4. You start talking about the early years of MTV and people don't believe you when you insist that it actually used to play music videos.

5. You remember owning one of the following: parachute pants, a pet rock, flourescent clothing, a Wham!/ Michael Jackson/ Culture Club tape, feathered hair, leg warmers, kickers, acid washed jeans, plastic earrings, gloves without fingers.

6. You once had a crush on a.) Adam Ant b.) Coco from Fame c.) George Michael d.) the Go-Gos

7. You remember who shot J.R.

8. You have more than one prescription medication

9. You can't remember what #10 is