ill

If my remaining .018 readers would like to know why I haven't posted lately, I would like state that I've been off powdering my nose, as well as acquiring all sorts of new and exotic maladies with which to patriotically line the pockets of my health insurance plan.

In addition, I have decided to take up smoking, in order to languish more glamorously while lying about and swallowing pills and things. After all, four out of five doctors from the 1950s agree that cigarettes have numerous and well-documented health benefits as a result of lower tar and nicotine. Without sacrificing any of that great taste! Each pack o'pleasure increases your enjoyment, your rosy-cheeked feminine sparkle, and your lack of ironic self-awareness by a whopping 120 percent!