Tuesday, September 11, 2007

ill

If my remaining .018 readers would like to know why I haven't posted lately, I would like state that I've been off powdering my nose, as well as acquiring all sorts of new and exotic maladies with which to patriotically line the pockets of my health insurance plan.

In addition, I have decided to take up smoking, in order to languish more glamorously while lying about and swallowing pills and things. After all, four out of five doctors from the 1950s agree that cigarettes have numerous and well-documented health benefits as a result of lower tar and nicotine. Without sacrificing any of that great taste! Each pack o'pleasure increases your enjoyment, your rosy-cheeked feminine sparkle, and your lack of ironic self-awareness by a whopping 120 percent!

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6 Comments:

Anonymous tim said...

Well then I shall wish you better health :-)

11:08 AM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

Hope you feel better soon! Where is your mom with that chicken soup... ?

12:57 AM  
Blogger Krishen said...

oh sorry to hear you're not feeling well! hope you feel better soon.

8:34 AM  
Blogger -c said...

Although I commend your efforts to rosy your cheeks and support your insurers, I take issue with the disturbing fact that I have become a mere point-zero-zero-something of a reader. Quite reality shattering, as I had always considered myself a full .997 of a reader... :)

9:39 PM  
Blogger tiny... said...

fyi

I'm 99 & 44/100ths pure reader.

I also float.

t...

3:37 PM  
Blogger L said...

tim: feelin' better already :)

rhodent: I know, she must be COMPLETELY irresponsible!

krishen: I am -- thanks!

-c: no, I would consider you to be worth at LEAST 2.954 readers on a sliding scale against the yen. what do you think? :)

tiny: I have also been floating myself lately.... but will be back to blogging

11:23 PM  

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