Monday, August 10, 2009

Rainy Days Are Here Again

It's raining cats and dogs and balls over here, or so I've been told. All the cockroaches and toads are lining up two by two and making a beeline for my front door. A real post to-morrow....

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Glamour Girl Sets World Record for Length of Time Between Blog Posts

In honor of my very first blog post in over a year, I thought I would begin with some incoherent rambling and idle thoughts then transition to some general complaining and things. After all, no matter how much time passes, it really is best to be consistent.

Things that have occurred since the last blog post:

1. Give or take some minor statistical sampling errors, the methane* levels have risen by almost 75% in my general vicinity. Although correlation does not imply causation, researchers theorize that this may be due, in part, to the concurrent rise in the number of sweat socks and cuff links strewn about the place**

2. My bathroom is still not quite completed***

3. I have watched approximately 98 kung fu movies, 24 zombie movies and have also completed my previously stated goal of yet again NOT reading Marcel Proust's Remembrance of Things Past or Tolstoy's War and Peace for the fifth year in a row.

4. It appears that the Association of Drunken Bicyclists, Prostitutes and Panhandlers (A.D.B.P.P) is having their annual convention this week. I have decided not to participate this year, but have not ruled out plans for 2010. I will keep you posted.

5. Several party frocks, unusual books and one new hairstyle have been acquired.

6. The value of my 401K and house jumped around a bit before deciding to take a running leap (in tandem) off a very large cliff.

7. I have met the following people: a contortionist-trapeze-artist with a gimpy leg, a fire-breather with freckles and tattoos, a dog trainer and a stand up comedian who can eat four pies in one sitting. This sounds like the beginning of a highly lucrative and educational sideshow act, but so far funding has not come through.

8. I turned 28 this year! ****



* i.e., farting and belching
** i.e., a male of the species has moved in
*** This is true! Blue painter's tape is still up!
**** Um, not really

I will also write a blog post to-morrow (!!!!!!!!), unless I get run over by a truck or just decide not to. In the meantime, here are some charming photos from Florida's past:

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Saturday, August 08, 2009

Testing....

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah.