Monday, December 11, 2006

Dear Santa....

Dear Santa,

How are you doing? I see you've put on a few pounds since last year. Ha ha ha!

I still haven't killed anyone yet. I am fine.

I have been very, very, very, very good ALL year, and I
followed all traffic laws and local, county and federal regulations at all times. I did not run about shrieking and flinging pencils during meetings. I didn't pretend to faint when asked for an update, start fires when given agendas, or otherwise make a nuisance of myself. I was a very Good Citizen and mostly did my very best to flirt with inappropriate men behave on every possible occasion.

You seem to be senile, so I would like to bring your attention to the fact that last year I requested a musical instrument, which you neglected to bring me: a pico-something... pico.. piccol... piccolo... uh... gigolo. Yes, that's it-- a gigolo. I do hope you don't have Alzheimer's remember to bring my gigolo THIS year, as I'd like to start playing one right away. I need all the practice I can get.

In addition, I would like the following small items:
1. a pony
ninja skills a yachting trip
3. a trained monkey
4. my very own ice cream shop
an AK-47 twenty five silk dancing frocks
6. a private movie theatre with red velvet seating
7. a lifetime supply of various cheeses
8. a personal assistant
millions and millions of dollars an end to Poverty
the ability to cloud and control men's minds World Peace

I will include additional items in a convenient addendum to follow later.

Hugs and Kisses!

-- L

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Yes, it's absolutely shocking...

No. I did not manage to finish writing my perfectly horrid novel: The Mysterious and Dreadful Case of the Ghastly Murders.

I only managed to reach approximately half of the 50,000 words in 25 days-- but I shall revisit it at a later date and possibly inflict it on others.


Sunday, December 10, 2006

No Longer A.W.O.L.

Yes, yes, yes -- the blogging has been nonexistent lately, due to the terribly sad fact that I've had to be charming and fabulous at so many events lately. Today a couple of us managed to relax and head over to the Oldsmar Flea Market, where I picked up an amusing pinup magazine from 1955 -- it seems to contain everyone from Lili St. Cyr, Rita Hayworth and Mamie van Doren to Ava Gardner, Elizabeth Taylor and Cyd Charisse... and everyone in between.

Also picked up a 1957 issue of Satan magazine, which contains Bettie Page on the cover as well as in the main centerfold. I might trade it for some playing cards or something else... not sure yet.

In addition I discovered a "Pin-Ups by Bernard of Hollywood" magazine (from 1950), which is full of old black-and-white pinups of "undiscovered" models. Is it just me, or is the unnamed model below a very young Marilyn Monroe?

I will attempt an actual blog post tomorrow....

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