Thursday, July 20, 2006

Furthering My Cultural Education....

As I've decided to generally improve my mind, it behooves me to further my cultural education by watching many kung fu movies.

This week's pick is Evil Cult, a lovely and heartwarming classic starring Collin Chou and Jet Li with incredibly long hair. The plot involves a great deal of flying through the air, evil jinxes, suicide by exploding heart, bloodthirsty revenge, enormous eyebrows, cheesy bat costumes, explosions, demonic laughter, and energy transfusions. Oh, and there's a lot of awesome fight scenes too. I am posting my favorite dialogue, purely for informative purposes.

"I am all eyed"

Guy#1: "AY-aGH!!! It hurts!"
Guy#2: "Are you hurt?"
Guy#1: "Of course, but I can't lose my face in front of them."
Guy#2: "Never mind, I'll help you to cure your wound."
Guy#1: "It's useless, you've to suck the poison out the wound."
Guy#2: "No problem."
Guy#1: "Really?!!"
Guy#2: "Yes, I didn't take my words back"
Guy#1: "What a good buddy. See, the wound is on my ass."
(Guy #2 kicks him over the balcony)
Guy#1: "AY-AGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

"I've heard that you are great in Kung-Fu... I, Sung Yuen-Kiu,would like to offend you now."

"When you are exhausted, you will be in deep shit tool."

"Don't press my head with your ass!"

Guy#1: "Don't think I am a hundred years' old granny, my dicky erects every morning."
Guy#2: "What? Why isn't mine do the same?"
Guy#1: "You are weak."

"But I think, you are not virgin before practising such kung-fu."

"shit, will that make her pregnant?"

"what a hand job for you, pal."

"Your wife is so fat, it is no big deal for me to suck her blood!"

Guy# 1: "Master, Tse Shun is my buddy. If I betray him, I am not righteous and not loyal to my buddy."
Guy#2: "Right, how can you be non-righteous? Please give us some face then."

In other useless news, I have started playing Ultimate Frisbee, so later I will have an informative and educational post for beginners.


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